Mental Anguish

"Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow." - Henry David Thoreau 

See that little counter over on my left sidebar? Oh, you are reading this in Reader? Okay, well I will read it to you. What it says is, "8 days (and some odd hours) until the City of Roses Half Marathon".

Yes, 8 days.

I am not ready. Physically, I am fine. It is my mental capacities that are lacking. Although I KNOW I can do it, I am still nervous/scared/doubting myself.

Why? I don't know. I have done it before and it really doesn't matter if (a) I run really slow, (b) I have to walk or (c) I don't finish at all.

But I am my worst critic and am hardest on myself and I want to do well, even though I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter what happens. If I were you and you were me, I would tell you that you are going to do fine and to just have fun with it and that it Doesn't Matter! But I am me and even though I try to tell myself the same thing, I am feeling a little strange.

This always happens to me before a big race. It's like stage fright. Like cold feet. Like speaking in front of a bunch of people even though you KNOW you are prepared and you know the material. It's self doubt for NO reason.

Usually it is gone after the first mile.

However, until that first mile is under my belt (in 8 days and some odd hours), I will wonder: did I eat enough today / last night / yesterday / last week? Did I train enough this week / for the last 12 weeks? Did I train too much? Am I strong enough? Is my alarm going to go off on time? Do I really need to pee or am I just nervous?

And then, the first mile will go by and I will do what I know how to do. I will do what I have done before. I will do what I have been doing for the last 12 weeks (and years before that). I will run. I will enjoy myself. I will be reminded that those nerves are just a part of being excited.

I will be reminded that races are my FAVORITE part of running.

Have you ever run a race? If so, did you like it? Did you get nervous beforehand? Do you have any upcoming races? 

This post is linked up with Jill at: 

Argentina Rocks!

This is Argentina. 

Today , you can join me over at Women Rockin' The Road, where I am talking about being a vegetarian in Argentina, one of the beef capitals of the world.  

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Also, I have a winner to announce for the Back to The Books Giveaway Hop.

Drum roll please....

And the winner is....

Number drawn by random.org.
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1:12 Aperture

I think I mentioned before that Kate suggested linking up for a 12 week fun photo course online. And it's FREE. Since I am a gourmet hoarder of the first kind, I jumped on this. Free classes? An excuse to play with my camera? I am in! We will be linking up every Thursday with what we have learned for the previous week. This week's post will be about Week One: Aperture.

Instead of my repeating what she has already said, you can hop over to Kate's post where she has links to PDFs for all 12 weeks of the course. Or you can look at WEEK ONE here. Whether you are a beginner or an expert, it always helps to have focus (no pun intended). I, for example, already know a little about aperture. However, it never hurts to get in some extra practice AND having an assignment makes me more likely to get out and experiment!

So here’s the question that week one wants us to answer:

Just how much of your photo do you want to be in focus?

I started by playing around a little.

This is Papa P. He has been featured here in the past. 

Notice in photo ONE, the background is blurred. This is becuase I was using a wide open aperture, or a low f/stop.  In TWO, I used a higher f/stop. You can see the background is still blurred, but you have more of the photo in focus than in number one. In THREE, I used a very high f/stop (small aperture). This makes even more of the photo become in focus. Note not only the curtains, but the carpet. In one, its blurred; in two, only the edges are blurred; in three, none is blurred.

I am not going to go into all the camera mumbo jumbo (unless you want me to, you can email me or check out week one's PDF) but basically the lower the f/stop, the less of the photo will be in focus. The higher the f/stop, the more of the photo will be in focus. In a nutshell.

Here again, we have a low f/stop in the first frame (blurred background), going higher as we move to the right (more of the photo is in focus). 

And again, low to high f/stop. 

I take a ton of photos using LOW f/stop. I love macro shots and shots with a blurred background. Many of those photos look like this: 

So my goal for myself was to take some photos using a smaller aperture (a larger f/stop). 

So here are some of the results.

It was fun but I still need more practice! 

Lessons learned?

First, I had to re-remember that the bigger the aperture, the more light that gets into the lens. So, when you are shooting with your aperture wide open, you don't need your ISO to be as high or your shutter speed to be as low. The opposite goes for the small aperture. I had to bump up my ISO and lower my shutter speed for some of them. (they call this the "exposure triangle")

Also, I still need to practice more, as I tend to "set it and forget it" like Ron Popeil. I need to be conscious of what my settings are set on and remember to change them! Ansel Adams is well known for his landscape shots, which he used a very a very small aperture for. I strive to be more like him! (He used f/64!!)

Join us for next week's link up where we will be talking about: ISO and Shutter Speed.

Have you experimented with aperture? What f/stop do you like best? If not, just as an observer, which photos are more pleasing to your eye? Blurred or not blurred background?

Fish Are Jumping and The Cotton is High

First, join us over at Women Rockin' The World, Topic: Food, where Sarah talks about Biker Food. Later this week I will talk about Being a Vegetarian in Argentina, the Beef Capital of the World. Don't forget, if you have a travel story, we want to hear it!

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And now for our regularly scheduled post. A while ago, my friend Lisa did a post about her childhood and some of the things she remembers for each season. Her first installation was Summer and she invited us to join in. I better jump on that boat before it sails! So, here are a few things, Lisa style, that I remember from...When I Was A Child.

Cousins: Every summer my cousins would come and stay with us and we would do everything together. Even though they annoyed me half the time (especially one, but I am not going to name names), it was great having them around and they were all like brothers to me (and one little sister). We would go to the beach, play board games, watch movies, throw water balloons, annoy each other and do all those other things cousins do.

The Beach: Nope, I did not live near the ocean. However, I was only steps away from the beach at the river! We used to go to the beach almost every day. We would play the white rock game, where you throw the white rock (quartz) into the water and everyone races to get to it first. Whoever gets there first gets to throw it the next time. (We also used to do that with pennies in the pool).  We would build sand castles and bury each other up to the neck in sand. We would have swimming races and contests to see who could hold their breath under water the longest. It was all so much fun!

My brother and I. Notice the beer cans? Good times!

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Don't ask me why, but this, along with Gulliver's Travels, were our two favorite movies to watch for at least one summer, if not more. I remember being grounded becuase I threw sand at my brother and my two punishment choices were (a) no beach the next day or (b) no movie. I chose...no beach the next day! WHY!? I guess it was an instant gratification thing.(p.s. Remember when he makes the mountain out of mashed potatoes? We used to do that all the time!)

Mudballs: We used to have contests to see who could make the best mudball. By best I mean, it has to be very round and smooth and when you throw it, it CAN'T BREAK. If it breaks, you did not make a very good one. There is an art to this, believe it or not. I can't tell you the secret though, or I would have to kill you.

Working: Yup, I said working. My parents used to run a summer resort, with cabins, tubes for rent, a bar, restaurant and general store. Many (MANY) hours of each summer was spent working. I didn't necessarily enjoy it at the time, but now I can look back upon those times and laugh. I remember having to be the tube renter girl. I had to sit with all the tubes and fill out paperwork and take money when people wanted one. It was near the beach. However, I could not GO to the beach, but I could hear everyone else having fun at the beach while I was stuck renting tubes. It sucked.

Reading: When I wasn't working, watching movies with my cousins or going to the beach, I was ALWAYS reading. I remember reading anything I could get my hands on. I would read my Mom's Agatha Christie books. I must have read A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (my favorite) about a million times. I love Laura Ingals Wilder and Nancy Drew and CS Lewis. I read the Sweet Valley High series and all the John Grishams and even my grandma's trashy romance novels (when I was a little older, of course).

Campfires: We used to have a campfire almost every weekend night. We would roast marshmellows and eat s'mores and roast one side of our bodies at a time (oooh my legs are burning! Turn around! Ooooh now my butt is burning!) We would go swimming at night and then go stand at the campfire to dry off and warm up.

Sleeping Outside: The best part of summer is that we used to put a mattress in the back yard and we would sleep outside in our sleeping bags under the stars. We would count shooting stars and tell ghost stories and talk about the adventures we were going to have when we grew up.

The Big City: When I got a little older, I used to go and visit my Aunt and Uncle in the Bay Area and they would take me school clothes shopping and we would go bike around San Francisco. I felt so grown up hanging out with them.

At Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco (Yes, I know my sweatshirt is awesome, but NOT as cool as Uncle's PANTS!)

Ah, childhood. Wasn't it great? What were your fondest memories of your Summers as a child?

Ten on Tuesday (18)

I hope everyone had a great long weekend! I did! I am sure I should be compiling a very interesting post about it, but this week at work is a busy one since it is actually TWO days shorter than normal. We usually work 6 days a week, including Saturday. So. In order to preserve my brain for more lucrative things, I am linking up with Chelsea at Roots and Rings for a fun ToT list! Hopefully I will be more coherent tomorrow!

1. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on during the day?
I usually keep it around 74. I get cold pretty easily. Sometimes I put it down to 72 or 73 and then turn it off for a while after the room gets chilly. 

2. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on at night?
Pretty much the same as above: 72-74 degrees. 

3. In a canister of mixed nuts, do you pick out certain varieties and leave the others?
I don't really like hazelnuts, macadamia nuts or brazil nuts as much as some of the others. I prefer gorp (or trail mix, as it is called by some), where you have mixed nuts, raisins, craisins and m&ms. I like to have a perfect mix of everything! NO CHERRY PICKING!

4. What is your favorite kind of M&M?
Almonds. But I don't really eat candy or sweets. 

5. How do you buy books? (Amazon, bookstore, new, used, electronic, etc)
Goodwill/Thrift Store or Amazon (free classics mostly) OR borrowed from the local library

6. How do you like your eggs cooked?
Fried DEAD Hard with NO runny yolk or scrambled. Scrambled is usually safer because for some reason some people don't understand what NO RUNNY YOLK means.

7. Can you whistle?
Of course. I can do a wolf whistle or a regular whistle. I can whistle blowing out or in. I can be on your team when we play Cranium and you have to whistle songs and guess what they are. 

8. What common word do you always misspell?
Because. Not because I don't know HOW to spell it but because my fingers go to fast and I end up getting "becuase" instead. 

9. Are you afraid of flying?
Haha. No, thank goodness, because I would be a Very, Very nervous individual right now. 

10. How often do you go shopping?
I go to the grocery store roughly once a week. I go clothes shopping roughly once a year. I go book shopping roughly once a month. I shop for flights and cars and hotels more than anything else!


Your turn! Answer one (or more) of these Qs in the comments or go over to Roots and Rings to link up!

Cheers Bro!

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This beer may have an obnoxious name, but it is actually quite good. You can find it at the Stone Brewing Co or maybe even at your local grocery store.

This week was a very busy one for me, with visits to friends, different cities and much going on at work. We are now working less hours but are still expected to get the same amount of work done. So... I need one of these beers today!

I am looking forward to the next few weekends, since I will be meeting up with friends and family pretty much all of the September weekends and many of the ones in October! So, between the busy weekends and training during the week, this girl has been busy. But never to busy for a few photos!

Speaking of Arrogant Bs, today is my Brother's birthday! He loves beer, so it is fitting that this post, the beer post, falls on his birthday.

First, I had to go out in the field for work, so I took along my camera and took photos of some historical stuff (circa 1800). 

Old Church

Old School

Old Post Office

 I went grocery shopping and finally broke down and bought some cherries. I love them so much but they have been over 3 dollars a pound all summer. I miss China Town, where fruit is always cheap, even if you have to fight an old Chinese lady for a place in line to buy it.

I went to St. Louis to meet up with my Dad and some friends for a visit to the Arch and a baseball game.

There's my Dad! Do you like his shirt? 

A-LO-HA!

The view from the expensive seats. 

Of our seats. And the Arch. 

I figured out how to make my legs look more tan. 

Wear my new (WHITE!) running shoes. See, it's easy!

(1) new shoes

(2) old shoes

I figured out how to potty train....

...my boyfriend.

How was your week? 

What are you up to this (long) weekend?

Have you figured out how to get your man to put the seat down?

This post is linked up with: 

Kim at Yep They're All Mine

Comment Love at FTLOB 

Food for Thought

{Training}

This week is week 9 of 12 for my training schedule (otherwise known as the aforementioned Hal Higdon Schedule of Hell). 

My long run this Sunday is supposed to be a 15k, which is about 9 and a half miles. I can do that. Last weekend I ran 10 miles, and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I have mentioned before that most weeks, I just take it mile by mile and like I said in this post, many times I want to stop before I even finish the first mile! So every time I look at the training schedule and see the looming long run, I cringe a little. However, every time I finish a long run, I feel so good, physically (even if it was hard) and definitely mentally. 

I feel good when I rise to the challenge. Personally, I feel great. When I can challenge that distance and conquer it, I feel awesome. I want to run farther and faster each time, just to prove to myself that I can. My competitors are not the other runners. My competitor is me. Sometimes I beat myself up. And sometimes I beat myself.

{Fueling}

Speaking of beating myself up, a few times before my long run, I have not eaten enough. Then I hit the wall hard. So I am trying (and still learning how) to eat smarter. I have been eating more rice, beans and sometimes even toast, which I wasn't eating before. But I know I need to feed my body in order to have enough energy for the long runs. I eat tons of veggies and fruit! 

So, endurance folks, what is your pre-race/long run energy-boosting meal?

I usually have beans and rice the night before and toast with almond butter or cereal and fruit the morning of the run.

{Racing}

I have never done a marathon. It is one of my goals in life. However, I admit to you people, I am scared. (Hold me) I run alone. My 10 mile run last weekend took me an hour and a half. That is a long time! I don't know if I can train and run for 2 or 3 (or 4?) hours. Not only is that a long time, and there is only so much time in a day, but isn't it BORING? 

I am thinking of signing up for a 20 miler. Maybe that is a good stepping stone.

{Thoughts}

I need your help. 

Training advice: How do you stay motivated? Do you run alone? If so, do you prefer that? Do you get bored?

Food advice: What do you eat the night before/the day of a long run or race? 

Races: I want to run a marathon! HOW do I make the training a good thing and not something I am dreading? How was your first marathon? Please tell me if you have any tips! 

Do I just need to buck up and sign up and deal with it!?

This post is linked up with Jill at Life as I See it: 

Random Blog Notes

{1}

The travel blog I contribute to, Women Rockin' The Road, was Featured on For The Love of Blogs! 

Go check it out! 

Click HERE to go to FTLOB.

Click HERE to go to WRTR!

{2}

Kate, at Twenty-Six To Life suggested taking a photography class together, then maybe posting on our blogs once a week. You can click HERE to go to the FREE 12 week photography class! Click on week one, download the PDF and off we go! 

Who wants to join in!?

{3}

I buy races like I buy shoes. For a long time I hold out. I don't "need" anything. I am "trying to save money". And then...BOOM! All at the same time, I get three of them. 

So, I signed up for: 

A Half Marathon -- Sept 18

A 10 Mile Race -- Sept 25

A Half Marathon -- Oct 23 

and I am considering...

A 20 Mile Run -- Dec 4

I am hoarding races now. (my precious!)

However, ALL of them are giving me a chance to see new friends and old! 

I can't wait. 

{4}

I am giving away not one but TWO books! Come on over and enter! 

Ends September 7th. 

{5}

I love this:

You can find more of them HERE.

{6}

Labor Day weekend, the end of summer, the last chance to wear white. 

How did it get here so fast?

Do you have any fun plans this weekend?

{7}

One of my best IRL friends just moved to Kansas City, which is about 5 hours from me. I am excited! We are trying to make plans to meet up somewhere in the next couple of months. It's amazing how hard it is to find a free weekend between the two of us! And strange how sometimes when you are closer together, you actually see each other less?!

{8}

I just finished the The Guernsey Literary Potato Pie Peel Society .  Whoa. That's a mouthful! That makes 41 books for this year. You can go to my Bookshelf to see how I am doing in the Bookmark Break Challenge and what other books I've read so far!

How is your week going?

Back to The Books Giveaway

Okay I have never done a giveaway before but I have a couple of fun books up for grabs! It's easy to win one! (if you live in the US) This giveaway is hosted by Kathy at I am a Reader, Not a Writer. After you have entered here, you can go to ANY of the other participants below and enter at their sites for many great book prizes! Enjoy!

Here they are:

If you want either or both of these books, you can enter in a few ways. 

One entry: In the comments below, tell me which book you would like (or both!) 

For additional entries you can: 

(1 entry) Follow me on GFC (and leave a comment below)

(1 entry) Follow me on FB (and leave a comment below)

(1 entry) Go to my Bookshelf and tell me which book I've read that you've liked! 

PLEASE make sure that you have your email enabled, or leave it in the comments so I can get a hold of you if you win! The winner will be drawn using random.org on September 8th!

That's it. Now get hopping!

The Control Freak Within Me

Today I wrote a really nice 600 word memoir for this assignment. And then I chickened out. It was too personal. I couldn't bare myself on the air. I couldn't do it. I can tell you about stuff like what I am eating, wearing, photographing, reading or where I am sweating, but personal stuff? Yikes.

I have always been like that, a very private person. I don't like to tell people what I am doing, where I am going, who I am doing it with or how I am paying for it. I don't know why. I guess it is a control thing. I like to be the one who decides WHEN to dole out that info. Or IF. I don't want to have that choice taken away from me. I am possessive of my thoughts, my things and my actions.

Which is very hard, as the work I do at my job gets handed from person to person to person. Many eyes see it, many hands touch it. I get critiqued and told how to do X and when to do Y. Everybody's nose is in my business. An unlike my personal life, I can't very well tell them to back off. On one hand, it's not as if the work is "mine" and so I am not as possessive of it as I am of my private things. On the other hand, it gets annoying sometimes when the boss of your boss's boss asks you why you did something the way you did. Even more annoying is that the answer is probably that your boss or their boss told you to do it that way!

So in this job, I have to take a step back and breathe and think, "This is not MINE". It is the company's. It will probably be revised again and again by somebody else. It will probably be fact checked by somebody else. The project will probably be closed out by somebody else. I don't need to hoard it.

But it is still hard. I want to have some control. And I don't.

And for some reason, this week, that fact is really getting to me.

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Have you felt frustrated at work? Have you ever been a control freak?

Disclaimer: If any of my coworkers are reading this, don't worry. You can make me feel better by sending a 5 gallon tub of Dryers chocolate chip ice cream to me via FedEx.

The Story Behind the Swap

It all started when Lucy asked for recommendations for a good summer (i.e. quick, fluffy) read. She specifically mentioned that she DID NOT want anything that would make her cry. You guys all know Lucy right? She's a teacher who loves to read, with a super sweet husband who does stuff like buy flowers for no reason and two cutie kids who sometimes chew things.

Have any of you read Marian Keyes? She's Irish and she used to be an alcoholic and she does a lot of stuff with charities such as To Russia With Love. Anyway, when she is not writing non-fiction about this stuff, she writes romantic fiction, i.e. Quick Fluffy Reads. So I suggested Lucy try reading one of her stories.

A few days later, on Kim's blog, Lucy mentioned that "someone" had suggested she read a "certain author" and the book she picked on that person's recommendation was...you guessed it...SAD. And it made her cry! Which is exactly what she didn't want.

So of course, I knew that "someone" was me, so I emailed her, begging forgiveness. She of course made me beg for a while, but finally gave in. And then, I offered to send her some books to make up for it. She, being very gracious, accepted and offered to send some back.

So, the book swap was finalized.

Today, I got my books! Thanks Lucy! Sorry that the author I recommended when you specifically asked for no sad books was sad! I'm excited to read them, as they are perfectly fluffy reads and will go by fast and be great for a day of mindless reading, which is just what I NEED right now!

I wonder, do you think she snuck in some sad ones just to get back at me?

If anyone wants them, I would be happy to send them on once I am done with them. I am trying not to accumulate too much stuff. (no more book hoarding!)

If you want to find out more about what I am reading, go to my Bookshelf.
For Book Reviews, go HERE.

What are you reading right now? What is your favorite book of all time? I am always looking for recommendations!

Hop Stoopid

source

If you like IPAs and you haven't tried Lagunita's Hop Stoopid, you need to get on it. It comes in a handy 22 oz bottle that will remind you of your High School years. I mean college. Yeah. I meant college. If you don't like IPAs, Lagunitas has a bunch of other varieties that are good as well. However, if you don't like IPA, Kim, who hosts this hop, may not like you anymore. It's your choice. This beer is from California, naturally. I went to their beer fest last year and got to try some good ones! I suggest you head to your local grocer, grab a Hop Stoopid and then get comfortable while you Look What I Did Last Week.

See - Everyone likes Hops Stoopid!

This week, I signed up for a race! 

It's September 18th. 

That means I have less than a month to train. Eeek.

By the way, if you have never done a race, you should try it. 

It is way more fun than "normal running". There is something addicting about it. 

I train just so I can run these races.

I am training with Hal. He says: 

Is that like a "New York" State of mind Hal? 

 As you saw earlier this week, now that I am training, I can eat this from time to time. 

MMMM...cobbler. 

Recipe HERE.

This week has been a strange weather week. I am enjoying the clouds. 

Remember when I asked how to fix my iPod, which has been wigging out from the humidity (I think)? I was told to put it in rice.  So I tried it. I will try anything. I need my iPod.

It did help a little. I am still having issues, but they ARE fewer and farther between. 
I am still going to use that rice. 

I tried to find a new running path, but why the heck are there no sidewalks in these places?!!

So I went to the tried and true. Below is my pre-run kit. 

Notice the bug spray. There are chiggers here. If you don't know what a chigger is, consider yourself VERY, VERY lucky. I got a bite over a month ago and it STILL ITCHES. 

I HATE CHIGGERS. 

Click here if you want to be grossed out.

It was cooler and LESS HUMID! Finally.

 After my run, I bought myself a little gift. 

Ahhhh. Sweet yummy goodness. 

 I couldn't stop guzzling it long enough to take a photo, so this is the only picture I got. 

I did get a light one though, and apparently it paid off. 

I have to cinch my belt two notches tighter!

I went grocery shopping. The blueberries are still fresh! 

I am taking advantage while I can!

Oh and I bought a whole watermelon. I live alone.

I DID eat the entire thing by myself. In less than a week, mind you. 

I also bought lemons, as I have been on an iced tea kick and love a nice cold tea with lemon. 

 I made another pot of chili. Yup, it's an old standby. I usually make about 10+ servings and then freeze 2/3 of it (in two separate containers) so I can just pull one out at a later date. 

Recipe HERE.

Okay, you may not remember this barn. I have taken a picture of it before. Maybe a month or so ago. You can see that photo HERE. What a difference, right? It's kind of fun to take photos of the same things and see how they progress over time.

How was your week? Have you ever gotten a chigger bite? 

Have you ever run a race? 

Do you know how to fix my iPod?

This post is part of these hops: