Monday, Fun Day

Dear Monday -- Please go away. You are not as fun to play with as Saturday.

Dear Sleep -- Why have you abandoned me? We had such a great time on Friday night, but last night, you were gone.

Dear August -- You are so far away but you are already full. Why does it seem like everything happens all in the same month? I am looking forward to you but dreading you at the same time.

Dear Hair -- Today we will part ways. I am not sure how it will turn out, but I am sure that most of you will be gone.

Dear Running -- I miss you.

Dear California -- Your weather has been great and I love it. However, we really, REALLY need some rain. I would gladly sacrifice a few nice days now for good fruit prices later on!

Dear Toilet -- Why are you running?

Dear Closet full of work shirts -- Why don't any of you fit any more? Did I get taller or did you get shorter? I think it's time for you to be replaced.

Dear Readers -- who do you want to write a letter to today?

Shoot the Breeze

I went to a friend's house last weekend for her daughter's 2nd birthday party. The good thing about 2nd birthdays is that the kid doesn't care if there are other kids there or if it's just an excuse for all of Mom and Dad's friends to get together at a party with a Mickey Mouse theme and eat cupcakes and shoot the breeze. My friend's parents and her husband's parents were also there. We had a great time hanging out and I even wore a dress, just for fun. I am normally a pants wearer; I have an aversion to my own knees. So this was a big deal.

Here are some of the conversations that were floating around. They will be A and I will be Me.

A: You look nice. What's the occasion?
Me: It's 104 degrees in your neck of the woods. (it was 75 in Oakland)
A: I know; that's why I am not wearing a shirt and I am sweating and I am downing beers like it's going out of style.
Me: Oh? That's why? I just thought that was your normal Saturday style.
A: Actually, it is.

A: So you have a race tomorrow?
Me: Yep
A: How far is it?
Me: 50k
A: (quizzical look on face) How far is that?
Me: 31 miles
A: (shocked look on face) 31 Miles? How long will that take?
Me: About 6 hours
A: (incredulous look on face) 6 hours! That's crazy!
(as I secretly agree and start to doubt why the heck I am doing this race)

A: So you must eat really healthy since you run so much
(as I am stuffing my face with my third coconut toasted cupcake in less than 5 minutes in the name of "carb loading")

A: My niece ran a marathon in Hawaii. You should do that one. I am not sure how far her marathon was though. Maybe yours is longer.

On Sunday, I ran the race. All 31 miles of it. I did not die. I will do a recap later. All I can say right now is:

Dear Toilet -- Were you always so low? I think you should be about 2 feet taller so I can stand up and don't have to bend my knees to use you.

Dear Belly -- When are you going to stop crying out for food? You are insatiable.

Dear Feet -- I am deeply sorry. I have abused you greatly. Will you ever forgive me?

How was your weekend? Do you ever have weird conversations (about running or anything else) with your friends' families? Do you have any "dear" questions for anyone today?

Oh Dear

Dear Saturday -- I can't wait to see you. It seems like it has been so long since we hung out. Please pick me up a good book and some nice weather before you stop by my house.

Dear Popcorn -- I haven't seen you in years, but for some reason, you popped into my life just when I needed you. I have been glad to share my last few evenings with you. Your friend salt ain't bad either. See you again tomorrow!

Dear San Francisco -- You have been so clear lately. It has been a joy to look over at you and see your hills and your blue water and your bridges. You make me very happy.

Dear Garden Zucchini -- Where are your friends? I have been told that you never travel alone and to beware, as you can quickly become overwhelming, but right now there is only one of you. I can't wait to get this party started.

Dear Neighbor Who Was Out Watering His Lawn the Other Day -- You said good morning to the guy getting into the Honda, but when I walked by and said good morning to you, you mumbled several things that sounded like curse words under your breath and turned away. Did I do something to offend you?

Dear Unnamed Dog -- Please don't poop on my lawn. It's gross. If you really must however, do it on the neighbor who was watering his lawn's lawn.

Dear Dog Owner -- Please pick up your dog poop. I am tired of having to duck and dodge it when I am running on the sidewalk or when I am getting my newspaper from my own yard.

Dear Running -- We have not been very good friends lately. Maybe it's time we gave each other a little space. Maybe it's time to see other fitness methods for a while and see how we feel in a couple of months.

Dear Marathon -- You scare me. You are big and you are hot and you are way stronger than me. I am not sure I would win if I fought you. Please play nice.

Dear Wine -- Will you go out with me? On Friday night? Can we make it a threesome? I have a glass who is very interested in meeting you. 

Dear Facebook Friend -- Yes, your baby is very cute. But I do NOT need to see a bazillion photos of the baby. I also do not need a status update about the baby every 4.5 minutes. Let it be cute once a week; that would make you a better friend in my opinion. 

Dear Current Books -- I am sorry, but I am just not that into you.

Who do you want to write a letter to today? 

Dear Ponytail

Dear Ponytail, 

Please come back! I miss you! My other hair just gets in my face all the time. And we both know I hate confrontation!

Pathetic excuse for a ponytail. (along with umpteen clips!)

dear coworker, 

sentences begin with capital letters. anything else just looks unprofessional.

Dear Coworker, 

Sentences end with periods How else will I know when you are done making your point

Dear Coworker, 

"A part" and "apart" mean two different things! You need to learn to tell them apart.

Dear Weekend, 

I liked you better when you were two days long. One day is barely enough for errands and a nap.  

Dear Blog Commenters, 

A comment that says, "I am following you. Please follow me back at ____" is not acceptable. If I like your blog, I will follow it. If you do that, I will not.

Dear Trader Joes,

I know we haven't seen each other in a while. You live so far away from me now. You and me and (2 buck) Chuck need to get together soon! 

Dear Coffee,
I love you. I can't get enough of you. You really get me going. Grrrr.

Dear Summer, 
Most of the time, you are great. However, you are a little bit too intense right now. I think we need some time apart. (not "a   part")

Dear Sleep,
I wish we could see each other more often. Especially last night. I really needed you.

Dear Andy's Frozen Custard, 
What are you? Are you ice cream? Frozen Yogurt? I may have to go and do some recon to find out. 

Dear California, 
I miss you. Your weather. Your people. Your rivers and mountains! When will I see you again?

Dear Readers, 
What would you like to tell your coworkers/summer/your favorite drink today?