5.09.2012

How To: Eat A Burrito

Mr. Lovely is from Back East. When he first came to California, he was a burrito virgin. Okay, sure, he may have had one of those things that are kind of wet and slimy and covered with red sauce and come with a side of rice and beans. Those are good, but in California, that is not the kind of burrito we are referring to when we talk about a burrito. There is a certain kind of burrito; it is bigger than your head.

And there is a certain way to eat this burrito. Don't be like Mr. Lovely and pull all the (2 layers!) of foil off, exposing the naked tortilla! Don't get pollo asada all over your hands!! Keep the re-fried beans from going all over your lap! Don't embarrass yourself!

I am here to keep that from happening to you. Hopefully we caught it in time.

How to eat a San Francisco Burrito like a local: 

(1) Start with the key players laid out. The burrito. The salt. The chips. The salsa. Napkins.


(2) Now, this is important. There are two layers of foil. Remove the outer layer only. Now, tear only the top portion of the inner foil layer off, leaving about half of the foil at the bottom to hold onto as you eat.


(3) As you eat the burrito, tear the foil down little by little, always leaving yourself a hand hold. Not only does this keep your hand from touching the burrito, but it keeps the juices from landing on your lap.


(4) More of the same. I also like to add salt and salsa little by little to each bite and scoop up that and any excess innards with chips as I move down the burrito.


(6) Even when you get to almost the very bottom, you still have clean hands!


(7) At the very bottom, once you have only a few bites left, remove the remaining foil. Quickly take the few bites, so as to not make a mess. OR eat all three bites as one bite, covering your mouth with aforementioned napkins. Or not. Nobody will judge.


And there you have it. Now you are ready for an experience of a lifetime! Now the only question is, what kind of burrito will you try first?


How do you eat YOUR burrito? Do you have a food that is specific to your area? What food eating rituals do you follow?

17 comments:

  1. Good morning Kyria!
    Your post makes me 1. miss Cali and 2. hungry! I love naked burritos. Yes, I gave up the tortilla but love it none the less.

    The foods that are specific to where I live I don't eat. Like Skyline Chili...gross!

    Have a great day :)

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  2. Ha, this makes me smile. :) And miss burritos. They don't really make corn tortillas big enough to make a burrito - at least not to my knowledge!

    Granted, even before i knew about my gluten intolerance, I wasn't great at cleanly eating burritos... I tried your approach, but would still end up dripping on myself or getting my hands dirty. I guess I needed more practice. ;)

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  3. They should really display these tutorial pictures in restaurants! Educate those burrito virgins right from the start!

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  4. 1. Open mouth
    2. shove that fucker in.
    3. feel like you're ready to puke.

    I love it, but here they don't make those burrito's particularly healthy, so I have to greatly limit my indulgences.

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  5. Awwww this makes me miss our old burrito place in Lynn! It was owned by a Honduran family and it ROCKED!! It was called Tacos Lupita and it was a hole in the wall place worthy of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!

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  6. DAMN that is a big burrito. If I liked cheese, or beans, or food all mixed together, that would be SO good. Except I'm a weirdo.

    Only food ritual around here is that you don't cut your effing spaghetti. You twirl it. TWIRL. No cutting. Gah.

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  7. There's a place in Chicago that has a menu items called Burritos As Big As Your Head (http://www.labambaburritos.com/menu-nutrition/)!!! Too funny. I love your tutorial, though. I'm pretty sure I'd be the person who rips through both layers of foil. Amateur! ha.

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  8. Now I want a burrito! The closest place for me is Chipotle, while good stil not the same.

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  9. Love this! And yum! I grew up in the land of whoopsie pies, but Texas seems to be known for BBQ- not my thing.

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  10. I am going to eat a bunch before leaving Arizona for the summer because Ohio burritos don't cut it and yes, I always rip my burrito LOL

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  11. Haha! I love this. So wise! I have to admit I'm guilty of just ripping all the foil off and going for it only to have a big mess on my hands and in my lap.

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  12. Omg I LOVE burrito's! This post made me hungry for one!

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  13. mmmmm... burritos. I love putting salsa on every single bite.

    Hungry now.

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  14. This is funny! Good tutorial :)
    I used to eat the burrito by pulling off all of the foil as well, not good.

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  15. I totally took the foil out the first time I had a burrito. Oops. I am smarter about it now! :) I promise!

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Thanks for commenting! Any suggestions, tips or praise you have is always welcome!