My FODMAP Journey

I have always been a good eater. A member of the clean plate club. A proponent of eating anything and  everything and lots of it. I have never been a picky eater. However, I have always had an issue with slight bloating. It never was horrible, but if I ate a big bowl of cauliflower for lunch, a bowl of chili for dinner and two apples with peanut butter for dessert, I would probably have a slight stomach bulge, or what we would call a burrito baby, and would definitely have tight pants. Usually it was gone the next morning and I could go about my day. 

However, a couple of years ago, I noticed that it was becoming more frequent and more severe and it seemingly didn't really matter what I ate, if I ate or if I didn't eat, how much I ate etc. I was often so bloated that I looked I was five months pregnant (and felt that way too!) and was having severe pains in my upper stomach at times. I went to see a gastroenterologist and she gave me a blood test which came back all clear and then put me on a low FODMAP diet. What the heck is a FODMAP, you ask? FODMAP stands for Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides and Polyols. So now that we are clear... But wait, what? We are not clear? What is all that gibberish, you ask? 

Disclaimer: I am no doctor, nor chemist, nor biologist. But I took organic chemistry once a long time ago, so I will attempt to break it down. These are short-chain carbohydrates (sugars) that the small intestine absorbs poorly, and eating them can cause digestive issues (often due to them fermenting while in the intestine). All of the fancy names have to do with how many units make up the chain. For the purposes of matching the Monash list, let's refer to them as Oligos (which include fructans, not to be confused with fructose), Lactose (Di), Fructose (Mono) and...Polyols (which includes mannitol and sorbitol). Still a bit lost? 

You will be familiar with many of the main culprits: beans, wheat, cauliflower, lactose and garlic, along with many other fruits and vegetables. Some of the items are red, as in do not eat at all, and that is manageable. However, some are yellow, as in you can have 10 grams of it and be okay. However, you may not be able to have 10 grams of one yellow and 10 grams of another without having issues. Plus, who eats only 43 grams of corn? P.S. That is about 2 tablespoons. You can see the full detailed list here (as of 2022). 

From Ecosh

The first step of the diet is the elimination phase. For me, this was an eight week period where I eliminated all of the red and most of the yellow items on the list. To be honest, I did feel better during this phase, but it is a pain in the butt. You can't have garlic or onions or beans or wheat or lactose. I definitely did not eat out except for maybe once (Japanese was really the only thing I could eat, except soy was also not allowed - sashimi anyone?) and was "that guy" at any dinner with friends ("I'll just have a plain lettuce leaf with a whipped air dressing and a glass of water, thanks"). It did keep me from snacking (I ate A LOT of carrot sticks) because my main go to is fruit, which was probably the hardest part of this phase. I love fruit, especially apples, which are on the red list. 

The second part is the reintroduction phase. Do not think that this is all an all-you-can-eat fun party, because its not. This is another eight to ten week phase where you introduce one food from one category for three days straight, ramp up the quantity each day, see how it affects you and then go back to elimination for four days. Then on week two, you try a different category for three days, take four days off, try a new category for three days... you get the picture. The twist is that even if you think that the item does not bother you, you do not continue eating it. Basically except for the three days where you ate it, for the other seven weeks and four days, you are essentially still eliminating that category. You can read more on the Monash website. 

The reason you do it for so many weeks even though there are only four categories is that you may need to try several things in the same category. For example, garlic, onions, beans, bread and many common vegetables are in the oligosaccharide category. Its best to test out each one separately, as one of them may be the trigger, but you won't necessarily have an issue with all of them. And who wants to give up garlic if they don't have to!?

You also want to make sure you are trying things that are only in one category. For example, apples have both fructose and polyols, so you would not want to see if fructose is your issue by having an apple because if you did have an issue you would not know if it was the fructose or the polyol. You would be better off to have orange juice, a fig, or a mango to see if fructose was the issue (or rum apparently, although I would stick to something you consume often - you do you). For polyols you might want to try a yellow peach, cauliflower or a mushroom. This NHS video is also very helpful in explaining the reintroduction method. 

My nine weeks worth of tests were: 

Oligos (broken into five): black beans, garlic, onions, bread, artichoke

Lactose (Di): yogurt

Fructose (Mono): mango

Polyols (broken into two): avocado (sorbitol) and cauliflower (mannitol)

Of course all of this is done alongside journaling and really trying to be at one with your intestines, which can be fun but tedious at the same time, and trying to live life. Was that stomach rumble hunger, or should I have not eaten more than 27 grams of cauliflower today? Do I have a tummy ache from the bread, or was it the two bowls of oatmeal I ate this morning with butter and maple syrup? 

To wrap this up for now, I know you are wondering what the end result was. I would like to say that one thing really bugged me, I stopped eating it and I am happy and svelte and bloat free. However, that is not the case. I have learned that there are a few things, or high quantities of other things, that do seem to be worse, but there are still times when I do not eat those items and I have issues, so it is still a work in progress. Usually I find out by making a mistake (i.e. do not eat two large bowls of popcorn in one sitting, especially after eating three bean soup) but at least I am on the right path. I am not on full reduction, but something more like a maintenance phase for now. 

Also, like I said, I am not a health professional and I usually am not a proponent of supplements either but I started taking two probiotics that were recommended by a friend of my brothers and they seem to help a little: the first you take right before you eat, and the second you take at the end of the day after you are done eating. They are kind of expensive, and it took about a week before I noticed any effect, but they do seem to help reduce the tight pant syndrome! Sometimes that feeling of tight pants is not just physically demoralizing, but mental too and so in this case, I will try anything! 

Feel free to reach out personally with questions; I am happy to get into (TMI) more detail if needed! 

Have you ever had gastro issues? If so, what did you do to get rid of them? If not, what other issues have you had and how did you overcome them? 

How To: Eat A Burrito

Mr. Lovely is from Back East. When he first came to California, he was a burrito virgin. Okay, sure, he may have had one of those things that are kind of wet and slimy and covered with red sauce and come with a side of rice and beans. Those are good, but in California, that is not the kind of burrito we are referring to when we talk about a burrito. There is a certain kind of burrito; it is bigger than your head.

And there is a certain way to eat this burrito. Don't be like Mr. Lovely and pull all the (2 layers!) of foil off, exposing the naked tortilla! Don't get pollo asada all over your hands!! Keep the re-fried beans from going all over your lap! Don't embarrass yourself!

I am here to keep that from happening to you. Hopefully we caught it in time.

How to eat a San Francisco Burrito like a local: 

(1) Start with the key players laid out. The burrito. The salt. The chips. The salsa. Napkins.

(2) Now, this is important. There are two layers of foil. Remove the outer layer only. Now, tear only the top portion of the inner foil layer off, leaving about half of the foil at the bottom to hold onto as you eat.

(3) As you eat the burrito, tear the foil down little by little, always leaving yourself a hand hold. Not only does this keep your hand from touching the burrito, but it keeps the juices from landing on your lap.

(4) More of the same. I also like to add salt and salsa little by little to each bite and scoop up that and any excess innards with chips as I move down the burrito.

(6) Even when you get to almost the very bottom, you still have clean hands!

(7) At the very bottom, once you have only a few bites left, remove the remaining foil. Quickly take the few bites, so as to not make a mess. OR eat all three bites as one bite, covering your mouth with aforementioned napkins. Or not. Nobody will judge.

And there you have it. Now you are ready for an experience of a lifetime! Now the only question is, what kind of burrito will you try first?

How do you eat YOUR burrito? Do you have a food that is specific to your area? What food eating rituals do you follow?

Waste Not, Want Not

Last year I ended up with a bunch of Christmas cards that I did not want to throw stuff away, so I decided that I was going to attempt to make something out of them. I saw something similar on my friend Tammy’s site, but hers were way cooler since she has the tag punch that makes cool shapes. All I had was a pair of pinking shears and a hole-punch. I am not very crafty, but it was fun anyway and they work, even if they are not beautiful.

In an effort to get rid of stuff and keep my suitcase storage unit life organized, I am trying to use things I already have to aid me in wrapping and boxing and ribboning. It is hard, because you don’t want to save too much stuff, thinking “I will use this later” (just like the similar, “I will fix this later” and “I will make this later” where stuff starts to easily pile up), but I hate to have to go out and buy something that I know I could have easily already had.

Even worse is when you do save something to use and then you can’t find it so you have to buy it again anyway. This happens to me when I am traveling. For example, I went to Missouri in June. It was HOT. As autumn started to arrive, I had to buy a couple of sweaters even though I already had plenty at home. Since I was not going home any time soon, it was the only solution, other than having some sent. However, I solved it by buying them at the thrift store for two dollars each.

Oops, I got sidetracked. What I was trying to say is that this year I not only saved the cards from last year, but I made something out of them AND found them so I could use them again this year (that last part is key). Score, score and triple score. I even talked my Dad into using some of them! He’s weird though. He doesn’t care if they match the wrapping paper or not. Doesn't he know they are supposed to match? (yes, I know, I am the weird one)

What you’ll need:

Pinking Shears

Hole-Punch (or you can buy one of those punches at Michaels that make your card into a certain shape. They are really fun. There are round, flower shaped and many more.)

Colored Pens

Last Year’s Christmas Cards

Cut the cards into different sized squares (or whatever shape you want really.)

Punch holes into them. I couldn’t decide whether to do it in the middle of the top or the corner of the top. I ended up choosing the middle, but after using a few, I may use the corner for some of them next time. 

If you want, you can write “to” and “from” on them now. I did some for now and then wrote on others once I wrapped the gift. It’s up to you. 

Now you have fun Christmas tags! 

Attach the tags to presents using ribbon. Voila! (matchy, matchy)

Do you re-use anything from last year’s Christmas? Do you make anything crafty out of your old Christmas items?  What do you do with your old Christmas cards?