To top it all off, I feel a bit of post adventure blues. Do you know what I am talking about? Where you have a big trip planned and you spend a lot of time thinking about it and planning it and then you do it and it is wonderful, but once you are done, you feel a bit strange? That is how I am feeling. For two months straight, my daily grind was to ride, sleep, put up a tent, take down a tent, find food, eat and look forward to my next meal. Then I got to the Canadian border and not only thought, "now what?" but also kind of felt a bit adrift. What was I supposed to do with my time? I had forgotten what a "normal" day was like before riding (BR). So I filled up the time with hikes, visits with friends, and TBE, which were all great, but I still was not really back in my routine.
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| Now what? |
So now I am in a place where I can make a routine, but my brain feels like a wet sponge, kind of sitting there a bit saturated and unable to soak up anything. Also, in one week, I will be starting another hiking trip and so the routine will be tweaked yet again. At least in this case, it will be back to the hike-food-shelter routine which I know, but it still feels a bit discombobulating at the moment, since I know that any routine I start in the next week will be sidelined soon.
I know this will pass, and often as a full time traveler, it is necessary to slow down and stay in a place for a month, or to go back to a place where you have been before, as otherwise it can be a bit of information overload or decision fatigue, which is what I am in the middle of right now. I also need to figure out what I am doing for the next leg, which can be fun, but in the shape my brain is in right now, I don't really want to do it at the moment. I have ideas but I can't seem to execute. Of course I feel strange even bringing this up, as I know other people have kids and pets and homes and jobs to deal with and I am talking about planning my next bout of travel. But we all have things that make our brain go wonky, no matter what avenue of life we have taken!
One thing I am considering is not sending out holiday cards this year. I have done it every year for probably the last 30+ years, and it feels weird to even say out loud that I may not to it. But my list has grown and grown, and I do hate taking people off, so it has not gotten any smaller. I make my own card, curated with photos, printed at home every year until I sold my house, I hand address them with love, and I take pride in it. However, at this very moment, I don't feel motivated to do it and I am starting to feel like the juice is not worth the squeeze. Is this just my sponge brain talking, or am I really not interested? I am not sure. I could just buy a card, or a post card, and send that instead, but after handmaking my card for so many years, to me that feels like I am not giving it my all or I am doing things halfway.
I know that once I start my hike, and set up my next leg of travel (as in firm the location and buy the dang flight) and have a bit of time to dive into a routine, which will happen in November, I will feel better, but at the moment I am in the cave.
Do you get peopled out? How do you deal with it? What makes your brain go into sponge mode? If you send holiday cards, have you ever skipped a year?
i can't imagine being around people who's not my family for such a long time. even with my family, i get morning and evenings before sleep for myself to recharge. without that routine, i wouldn't be myself. so I get it Kyria, you need some time with yourself to absorb, relax, reflect, and centered. take this week to do that and maybe next week you feel better even without a routine.
ReplyDeleteThanks Coco! I am doing that now! I am sure for you too with work and travel and such, you can get off kilter. Even with a routine it is sometimes hard!
DeleteHee hee I have also been around people a lot in the last month but not nearly as much as you have. It's been good to recharge at home but now that I've been back for nearly a week I'm ready to go on my next trip. Plans are being made!
ReplyDeleteMy brain was pretty much constantly in sponge mode for the last few years that I was working. The best way to describe it is that my head would shut down soon after I logged into work for the day. The ultimate cure was to stop working, but until I was able to do that, taking breaks (aka hanging out on the cave), making time for things that I wanted to do, and [gasp!] doing the bare minimum at work instead of giving it my all were big helps.
Selfishly I want a card, but if you're not feeling it, then the answer is to skip! If you end up regretting it, you can always send a belated card (no one will care that it's not pre-Christmas, people like getting mail anytime) or do an extra long card next year.
I think that your having a home/normal place probably helps with the peopled out feeling, as it can bring you back to center. I think I am still being a little thrown off by the dog walk and feeding interrupting my flow a little bit. Not that they are an issue, but just that I cannot seem to get a routine back.
DeleteThat's a good idea re belated cards, although I am a bit all or none so it will probably be cards or no cards because once I decide (especially if it is no cards) my mind will move to the next thing and be done with that decision (which will be a relief!)
I DEFINITELY get peopled out. I was just thinking this morning—when getting out of a bed felt like a chore—that I need a FULL DAY WITH NO PEOPLE.
ReplyDeleteI skipped cards last year and feel zero guilt. I'm a little sad not to have the continuity of a card every year since we had kids, but that wasn't a good enough reason to add it to my plate. What I'm saying is: if you're not feeling it, just take the year off. Nothing bad will happen!!
I almost always feel post-trip blues!
Nothing bad will happen! I know this but in my own mind (and expectation of myself) I like the continuity and the routine. But you are totally right and I know that I was not mad that you did not send me a card last year and I know people will not be disappointed in me either! But still....Also we have the photos to keep the memories, so we don't *really* need the card. But it is kind of fun to have, isn't it?
DeleteOh yes, I get VERY peopled out!! I feel like as I get older, I get peopled out even more easily than before. Maybe I'm turning into a curmudgeon, or maybe now that I'm older I'm just more acutely aware of my own preferences and needs. I also get very antsy when I get out of my routine for too long, or at least when I cannot really CONTROL my own routine for too long. As in I don't like when we have houseguests or other things where I can't "do what I want to do in the order/time I want to do them" for extended periods of time. And I definitely get some post-travel blues, but I am usually also always very happy to be home. As much as I love to travel, I'm not sure I would do well traveling constantly like you do! I really long for my own home and my own places and my own simple routines, like going to MY gym and sitting in my sunroom and walking my dog around the usual block. I hope you get some good people-free time and some lovely audiobook time now!
ReplyDeleteI think I am turning into a curmudgeon too! Although actually I think you have it right; as we get older we get more aware of our preferences and needs AND we are more willing to ask for them. Things I may have let go or let someone else do, I now feel more inclined to say no thanks! I think that some houseguests are good, as in, they do their own thing so you don't have to feel that pressure to entertain, but some are a lot harder/needier! I like being with people who *know* me and are okay with me being myself, aka reading in a room with other people, or going off on my own for a while etc.
DeleteI guess I get peopled out, but I basically never let it happen. I always need a space where I can be alone, even if that space is just my car. I don't know. I guess if I were in your shoes and it was 44/48 days, I would book myself a day to myself in a hotel. LOL.
ReplyDeleteThe year I broke my leg (2011) I didn't send cards and I didn't buy the annual ornament. There were no repercussions, although maybe we did get fewer cards that year, but how would I know since I didn't care. Ha! I guess that's the question - would the repercussions, if there are any, bother you?
I definitely overbook myself sometimes. Like current me says, "you should make future plans" and then future me says, "WTF, this is too much!" Haha. Sometimes the two do not align. To answer your question, I do think that cards are a touchpoint for people who you haven't necessarily been in touch with, and if that connection got lost, it would be sad. However, I feel like in reality sometimes that connection is already lost so it really is a moot point.
DeleteDo you get peopled out? How do you deal with it? What makes your brain go into sponge mode? If you send holiday cards, have you ever skipped a year?
ReplyDeleteI ABSOLUTELY get people'd out. More often than not. I mea, I teach young people, and work with them all day, then I come home to my own two, very young, people and parent them the rest of the day.
I am an introvert and need my alone time frequently. It is possible I have some kind of sensory sensitivity... But I was never officially diagnozed.
Sorry, button happy... How I deal with it? I simply need to be alone. Just alone in a room or, preferably, a house. My own space.
DeleteYou are a saint; I don't know how you spend so much time with young people, who need more care than older ones sometimes! Plus they have so much energy, angst and emotions! That definitely takes a lot out of you. I definitely feel better after some alone time, and for me, being outdoors (alone) really helps. Fresh air, exercise and alone time is a great combination!
DeleteI often get Peopled Out, even when it's my own wonderful family. Like Mom of Children, above, I taught high school for over 30 years and advised a school literary publication. I was surrounded by people all the time--more than 2500 of them--each day. Once I retired, I literally basked in my solo time. I still do, but Rick is also retired and he expects to hang out together A LOT. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYour feelings about being in a sort of saturated stage right now are completely understandable. Just because you are travelling doesn't mean your life is one big vacation. A ton of work goes into travelling, especially wide and varied travel. I get it.
As far as holiday cards go, I used to send them out; then, I realized that it was simply one more time-consuming holiday chore for me. I didn't enjoy it one bit, and it seemed like the best thing to let go. I've been happier at Christmastime ever since. Every now and then, I'll send a select few out, but it's based upon my genuine desire. That makes it more of a pleasure than a chore.
I get very very peopled out, especially after traveling for work when the conversations might not flow as easily and you are constantly "performing." That results in a brain sponge vibe so I rarely work on flights and instead stare off into space or put on a boring podcast and try to doze off.
ReplyDeleteI am such a creature of habit so I would not thrive with your lifestyle at all! But Phil is the same way so we are compatible. We like to go on adventures but then we are happy to come back home where we can cook meals and there is a predictable rhythm to the day!
I send out holiday cards. Phil would be thrilled if I stopped doing that but since I"m not on social media, it's a way to update people in our life. I take the easy but more expensive route and order them from Shutterfly and I even have Shutterly address the envelops!
Oooooooohhhhh boy do I EVER get peopled out. I have a much lower tolerance than you do. As I have griped about already on my blog, I have been spending multiple hours a week sitting in the stands watching sports with other parents. I could ignore the other parents, but they are my friends! One of them is one of my closest friends! And sometimes my parents or in laws or husband also join in the sports watching fun. On the worst nights, I am stuck there for three consecutive hours, chatting and cheering. And I WANT to be there, but it is wearying to the max. I feel like shutting myself into a dark room for days after every game, which is, of course, not feasible.
ReplyDeleteANYWAY, I fully understand that wonderful experiences with good friends can still be A LOT.
You have likely already considered this, but you can personally design a digital holiday card and send that to anyone and everyone. As a person who also sends out holiday cards, and loves getting holiday cards (um, how do I get a holiday card to YOU?), I know the digital version isn't quite the same. But it might be a good compromise???
I rarely get peopled out now but when we were all done at my parents place over summer there would come a time when I could not just let my sisters sniping roll off me anymore, then I would let rip. One year I exploded at the breakfast table and stormed off. G did not know what to do with himself. It is all a bit less tense now that the kids are older though, plus we don’t have as long together. I think I would get peopled out if I was continuously around people other than my family though.
ReplyDeleteI think perimenopause is making my brain go to mush. I made so many silly mistakes at work before we went away, it was very annoying.
I can imagine it being very difficult to readjust after so much travel! Well, not that you're not travelling now, but I mean the big bike trip and then your big road trip. I am around people all the time, but I always carve out time where it's just me and my book, so I totally understand that discombobulated feeling of not having time to read. I need my reading time, or I'm grumpy.
ReplyDeleteI have never missed a year with holiday cards BUT I am ruthless with cutting people off my list. This is one area in my life in which I have no chill. I am all for exchanging cards, but it makes me unreasonably and unaccountably sad if I don't receive a card when I've sent one. Obviously this is a me problem, but it hurts my feelings! I always reciprocate, and so I take people off my list accordingly. So every year I keep a list of cards received, and I use that list to make the next year's list.