8.04.2025

Twenty Questions (E2): Peeves

I was going to save the Peeves post for later, but today I was sitting on the bus and there was an old man next to me that kept swishing his dentures around in his mouth and kind of making wet mouth noises and I thought, you know what, I guess it's time for a peeves post! I want to make a disclaimer before I start though: I don't hate people who do these things, they just sometimes annoy me. So if you do these things, don't fret; I am still here for you! I just may have to go into another room from time to time and get a break from the whatever it is you are doing. So, as always, chime in and let me know if these things bother you at all, and what else is a peeve of yours that I have missed.

1. As I mentioned above, wet mouth noises. Smacking, licking, slurping, sucking your teeth (there is a person I care a lot about who does this and I have asked him repeatedly if he needs a toothpick or a piece of floss and he always refuses and goes back to sucking his teeth! Sigh).  

2. Playing music, listening to your phone, talking on the phone out loud in public. I know in some cultures this is more normal, but I just don't get it. First of all, I don't want to hear your private conversation, but even worse is the Instagram swipers who go from video to video, so you have to listen to a little snippet of each one. And the absolute worst is when they are playing music out loud on the trail. Here I am walking along listening to the birds sing and admiring the trees and a dude comes up the trail with a boombox blaring Korn of all things! Seriously? Don't get me wrong, I can get down with Korn, but not in the woods. 

3. People getting too close to me. I am not obsessive, but I see no reason for the lady behind me in line for airport security to be touching my backpack. We will all get there eventually, I think you can give me three inches of space. I also was changing money in Georgia and a lady came right up next to me rather than standing back to wait her turn. That made me really feel weird as I was exchanging a few hundred euros in cash and I felt uncomfortable having her be so close to my money! :) 

The too close money changing lady

4. Sitting with my back to the main part of a restaurant. What can I say; I like sitting with my back to the wall, so I don't have any empty space behind me. Maybe I was a mobster in another life. I also like sitting that way so I can catch the eye of the server if I need something! 

5. People who watch TV or look at their phone when you are out together having a meal. This is not always true if it is someone you spent time with a lot, but usually when I am out for a meal, it is with someone I have not seen for a while, or someone I want to have quality time with, and I have set aside this time for them, and I feel like they can set aside one hour for me too where they are not always looking at their phone or the TV behind me (I hate restaurants with TVs in them also!) If I want to watch TV while I am eating, I can do it at home in my jammies and I don't need to pay more for the restaurant experience. 

6. Dripping faucets or running toilets. I have to find the leak and fix it; the sound of dripping drives me crazy. Or at least, I have to find a rag that I can put on the faucet so I don't have to hear the sound of the dripping! The same goes for the smoke alarm battery sound, or the "you've left something in the microwave" beep.

7. People who say "I wish I had the time/money to do what you are doing." This can be traveling, reading, going to a movie etc. Whatever it is, I believe that people make their own destiny, and most of the time they CAN have the time or the money to do what I am doing, whatever that may be, if they really want to prioritize things that way. 

8. People who wear too much perfume/cologne. It makes me sick, literally. It gives me a headache and I don't know why it has to be put on so liberally. A little dab here or there, fine. But taking a bath in it or spraying it on your head or whatever it is they are doing is too much for me. I have had to move seats at the airport before when a heavily scented woman sat down next to me! I think I would rather have a heavy BO person next to me than a heavily perfumed person. 

9. Untrained dogs. This is not as much of an issue in the US, except maybe some of those badass dudes who want to have a fierce Pitbull, but in other countries there are dogs everywhere. Most of them are friendly, but sometimes they are not, and I have perfected the fake "pick up a rock and throw it at them" move, because sometimes that is the only thing that will keep them away. It's flipping scary, let me tell you, and sometimes the locals just sit there and watch as the dog runs at you! 

10. Extreme tardiness. I know some cultures view time in a little more relaxed manner than I do, but it still doesn't make me like it when people say that something starts at 7 and then they don't even show up until 8. If they text and say they are running late, that helps, but it is still not my favorite thing. 

11. Flakes. Same as the above. Don't say yes if you are going to just change your mind or ditch out at the last minute. Just don't. 

12. People who write "hello" as their first text message and then don't say anything else until I respond. I kind of just want to ignore them. I mean, they say one thing that means nothing and conveys nothing and then they are basically putting the ball in my court? Do you have a question? Would you like to make plans or talk about something? If yes, feel free to put them out there. Hello means nothing to me, especially when you are a person who I don't know well and/or I don't have your name in my phone (which happens a lot when I am traveling and joining groups etc.). Who are you, anyway? Block and report spam. Goodbye. 

13. Overly confident males. OMG. You guys heard about creepy shirtless guy. I have a couple of other stories which I can talk about offline too. Also recently, I was hiking and I was waiting out a rain shower and this guy caught up to me and started talking. About himself. And how much he knew about the area, and how many times he had been to the area, and all of his wonderful accomplishments. Any time I tried to interject with a question or clarification or addition, he basically just steamrolled over me to talk about himself. Um, no thanks. Block and report spam! I got out of there as fast as I could. 

14. People who put their bag/backpack (or their feet!) on the seat next to them on the bus/park bench and then pretend they don't see that someone is trying to sit down. It is rush hour, you are on the bus, you know more people are going to get on. Just put your backpack in your lap! And don't get me started on people who put their feet on the seats. That is just low class. You are not in your own apartment; you are on the subway and you are taking up three seats when there are people who are standing and are too polite to ask you to move. 

15. People who don't give up their seat when an older person gets on the bus or needs a seat. Same as above. As Aretha said, show a little respect. Don't pretend you have something so important on your phone that you did not notice a 90 year old lady get on the train and stand next to you with her legs quivering. Especially if you are in the disabled seats, but even if you are in a regular seat, I think it should be given up. 

16. Sand. I love the ocean, and I love the beach, and I love swimming, but I don't love having sand on my body. No offense to dogs or kids, but when I am at the beach with friends who have either one, I kind of want to declare my blanket off limits because they kick sand on it and then it has sand on it, and then I have sand on me. I don't care if it's on my feet, but I just don't really want it all over my body. My Mom used to make us hose off before we came into the house in the summer time and now I get it! 

17. Non-cold drinks when it is very hot out. Dear Europe, when it is 38 degrees C out (basically 100 F) and I have been riding my bike and I stop in your restaurant and order an iced tea, I kind of expect it to have ICE in it. A lukewarm bottle that you pulled from the non-refrigerated shelves and gave to me with a glass (with no ice in it) is not going to keep me from dying of heatstroke. Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic, and I actually don't like drinking water with ice in it normally but on a really hot day, I miss the US custom of having a lot of ice in our drinks! 

This tea was NOT iced, but the ice cream was still cold. 

18. Loud talkers. Yes, I know that foreigners think that people from the US are loud, and that can be true for sure, but there are loud talkers everywhere. The other day two Montenegrins were yelling across a street at each other (in a friendly way) at midnight. It's not just them; there is always someone! 

19. Smokers. I sometimes forget how strict our rules about smoking are in the US. But then I go to Türkiye and people are smoking in hotels, in the lobbies of hotels, or on the bus. Or when the bus stops, even if just for a minute, everyone jumps out and inhales ten puffs before they all get herded back on the bus. When you are walking down the street in Georgia, you are enveloped in a cloud of smoke. In Montenegro people are smoking in restaurants, even in the inside portion, not just on the outdoor patio. There are cigarette butts on all of the trails and near the lakes and on the street. Everyone smokes! 

Looks like a joint right? It's a bone I found on the road. 

20. Fidgeters. A person I care a lot about wiggles their legs under the table a lot when we are playing cards. Sometimes when we are on the same bench, the bench shakes. I get distracted easily (see #1, #3, #4, #6) and I can't focus when they are fidgeting! Sit still, dang it! 

I guess the moral of all of this is that I prefer still, quiet, sandless and scentless. Haha. The end. Your turn! 

COPY/PASTE: 
1. Wet mouth noises. 
2. Playing music, listening to your phone, talking on the phone out loud in public. 
3. People getting too close to me. 
4. Sitting with my back to a restaurant
5. People who watch TV or look at their phone when you are out together having a meal.
6. Dripping faucets or running toilets. 
7. People who say "I wish I had the time/money to do what you are doing"
8. People who wear too much perfume/cologne
9. Untrained dogs.
10. Extreme tardiness.
11. Flakes. 
12. People who write "hello" as their first text message and then don't say anything else until I respond. 
13. Overly confident males. 
14. People who put their bag/backpack on the seat next to them (or their feet!) on the bus/bench and then pretend they don't see that someone is trying to sit down. 
15. People who don't give up their seat when an older person gets on the bus or needs a seat. 
16. Sand. 
17. Non-cold drinks when it is very hot out. 
18. Loud talkers. 
19. Smokers. 
20. Fidgeters. 

What is one of your peeves that I don't have here on my list? 

5 comments:

  1. Oh I am HERE for this!! But now I'm wondering/thinking that the boys definitely tracked sand on your towel when we went to that beach together last summer. Whoops. We actually drove by it yesterday on the way to a birthday party drop off and Paul recounted how exciting it was when we went over the curb to park on the grass. I would not have remembered that but it's seared in his mind!

    The ones that bother me the most are:
    - Playing music, listening to your phone, talking on the phone out loud in public (this is mostly elderly people and often happens at doctor offices which drive me crazy!!)
    - People getting too close to me (my children do this a lot...)
    - Dripping faucets or running toilets (I would add TICKING CLOCKS which bugs me the most. I will take the batteries out rather than listen to that awful sound), Untrained dogs (but I would say untrained owners because it's the owner's problem. I hate off leash dogs and dogs on LONG leashes on crowded running paths. A dog sort of charged at me when I was on my long run because his leash was so long and his owner was not paying attention and I about had a heart attack).
    - Extreme tardiness (but it does not have to be extreme. If you are consistently 5 minutes late I will be extremely annoyed).
    - People who don't give up their seat when an older person gets on the bus or needs a seat.
    - Sand. (and sadly we deal with sand A LOT these days with the sandbox at school. Apparently it does not bother all parents like it bothers us. Phil and I joke about how much money we would give to the school to take out the gosh darn sandbox. There are a lot of "that f'ing sandbox" comments between us.)
    - Loud talkers (Again I have one in the house. But there are so many loud talkers in my family, including one sibling and one BIL in particular. It wears on a person to be around someone who is SO LOUD).
    - Smokers.

    Well I guess I didn't shorten your list by much... but tried to only include things that REALLY bothered me

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    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, off leash dogs (when it is an on leash path) and I guess people who don't follow rules in general, as if they are better than other people or are above the rules. I also getting annoyed by long leashes across paths and dog owners in general, especially when they are like the people who don't give up their seats, they seemingly "didn't notice" ie they are clueless, but I am not sure if them being clueless or them knowing and not caring is worse! I had an off leash dog jump on me and knock me onto the concrete running path in Berkeley and the owners were apologetic, but I was on a LEASHED path that was multiuse and their apologies did not make me really like them since they were not paying attention or following the rules in the first place. (Can you tell I could definitely make a list of WAY more than 20 peeves!? haha)

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  2. I haven’t even read the post yet, I had to come tell you that when I worked at the Parc 55 in SF, I sometimes worked as a concierge in the fancy club on the 31st floor, where guests could have a cold breakfast. Sometimes it was SO QUIET IN THERE, and someone would be sitting around the corner from me, slurping their coffee or their cereal, and I wanted to MURDER THEM. Ugh. OK, I’ll be back to comment further after I read the rest of your post.

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  3. OK, back now, and most of these annoy me too, but not all. Regarding the dogs, we had a neighbor once in a wheelchair, and he got there because an off leash dog jumped on him and he fell backwards and broke his back. Kind of like your fall, but with life long consequences (he was hopeful that he would walk again, but we moved away so I don’t know what happened there). The stray dogs is a whole new level though, I’m glad you have the fake rock throw move. Heck, I’d throw a real rock if need be. Or carry a walking stick and whack them with it.

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  4. Basically all of these bug me, too! Except the restaurant one (I never really think of how I'm positioned), but I remember when we went to Cumin you were specific about where you wanted to sit!
    I echo Lisa. I HATE, HATE, HATE when dogs are off leash.
    Other pet peeves:
    - When my kids whine, especially if they're complaining right after we did something.
    - Crumbs in the butter dish. Ugh.
    I complain about lots of things, but can't think of a lot of pet peeves right now!

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