One of the things that I did on this trip was to have people come and meet me along the way. My friend K came with her girls to meet up with me in Canmore, and as we were driving around we would sometimes see people with bikes full of gear riding on the side of the road. I made them cheerily honk the horn and roll down their windows and cheer for the cyclists. They thought I was crazy but I tried to explain to them that it's the little things like that which sometimes make my day, and if we could pay it forward, why not?
They did not really think about the long days in the saddle with nobody to talk to and sometimes the only noise you hear all day is the cars wizzing by, but why would they? So I am here to tell you ten things that I've experienced and have been very appreciative of so far, and probably no long haul cyclist would refuse or be upset by if you did them.
A friendly honk. I have had people lean on the horn in an unfriendly way, but usually a quick toot toot is such a happy sound to hear as you are lumbering up a hill with sweat dripping down your face.
Speaking of sweat, I will almost never say no to a cold drink. I told my Mom that even if it's a soda, which I rarely drink, or even diet soda, I don't care. If it's cold, I will happily drink it! Near Merritt, BC, after accidentally going over the Coquihalla summit, a guy offered me a zero sugar Sparkling Ice and let me tell you, it was the best drink I've had in a while.
Cold(ish) drink!
Coquihalla summit. Not fit for bikes!!
A wave, thumbs up, hang loose or any goofy hand or arm movements are welcome, with some obvious exceptions!
I sat in a bar in Michigan talking to some bear hunters and when I went to pay my bill, one of them offered to buy my drink. How nice is that?
Somebody bought me these! Thanks!
In New Mexico, on a stretch of about 90 miles and 8,000 feet of gnarly climbing with no water sources on a 90+ degree day, I was walking my bike uphill over some rocks when a man in a kitted out fourrunner stopped and asked if I wanted water. If I have enough, I will sometimes say no, but in this case, I was so happy that I could have hugged him.
Warmshowers is a cycling accommodation swapping service, and the people who have hosted me have all been wonderful. However, in the New Mexico desert, there was no place good to camp and when I asked a man if there was anything around, he called a friend and she not only let me sleep in her yard, but she fed me and let me shower! Seriously, all I need is a small place to put my tent and a tree to pee behind, but she went above and beyond.
The Toaster House in Pie Town, NM. Free, with donations accepted.
To all the old men in Tim Hortons and McDonald's: I loved spending time chatting with you, hearing your stories, and learning about the local area.
I'm fact, to everyone at any bar or restaurant or hotel or just randomly on the street who has asked where I am going and why I am doing this and how I do certain things and have been so curious, it was really nice to chat with you too. You really made my day.
So many cars have moved over to the left and have given me a lot of space when they can and let me tell you, that is so nice. Even big rigs will sometimes get all the way into the other lane on a two lane highway and man it really makes a difference. Side note and fun fact: did you know that if the big rig does not get over, they often create a kind of rip tide/vacuum of air after they pass that can nearly knock me over?
Often if I am sitting on the side of the road having a snack or adjusting my clothing, people will ask if I need any help. While luckily I never did, I am so grateful to them, because you never know when you may need help. I always do the same too, except often they have just stoped to pee 🫣 or eat. But that's okay; it's better to check anyway!
I have really been impressed and touched by all of the random people who have made my journey better in some way, often by just doing something small, and maybe even sometimes not even realizing it! This list is not all inclusive; there were people who gave me rides, people who let me take my bike into the room even though it was not allowed, people in Montana and Colorado and New Mexico who have fed or housed me and other cyclists or hikers and want nothing in return except for us to pay it forward...the list goes on!
What unexpected thing has someone random done for you in your life? What random thing has made your journeys in this life better? Do you feel that people in certain areas or walks of life are more likely to give or receive random acts of kindness?
Kyria, I LOVED this post. So much positivity and so many great ideas for how to support bikers when I see them.
ReplyDeleteI got chills when I read about how good some of those cold drinks tasted. A few times I've been dehydrated and that first sip of a cold liquid is so incredible it really does become this crystal clear memory because it's such a relief and so pleasurable (in a way that a cold liquid when you're not really hot/dry can never be).
Random things. This morning we were walking up the hill on our local university campus and one of the students made eye contact and smiled at me and it really made be disproportionately happy! Usually everyone is looking at the ground or tired and focussed on getting to class. That little smile just felt...happy!
Yes, a cold drink is such a huge thing when it's needed and/or when you are tired!! I also always really enjoy a snack after skiing, as it seems to taste so much better when you've worked for it!
DeleteI love it when people make eye contact and smile. I also love places (usually smaller towns) where people wave at everyone they pass, even when they don't know each other. I come from one of these towns and now it makes me feel at home when I get a wave from a passing local.
I am glad you've been feeling the love from people! I think what's most helpful for me is when another parent sees me struggling on a playground and make a comment like "this stage is so hard" or something to that effect. Some sort of acknowledgement that parenting little kids makes me feel better and less angsty I guess. But then I experienced the kind of opposite of this yesterday. I was walking home with the boys from church and they were racing each other on the block and passed by a woman who was walking towards us. When I crossed paths with her I said, "good morning" and she said "good luck" and not in a nice way? So I asked Paul and Taco - did you say something to her? They didn't and I believe them... if anything, Taco would have enthusiastically said good morning. So I was very befuddled by her comment... I don't know if she felt it was unsafe for them to be running on the sidewalk. They both know to stop at the corner... It was so bizarre.
ReplyDeleteThat is a strange interaction. It sounds like they were not only just being boys but good boys! I wonder if she was insinuating that your boys were a handful, but if so, why, if they were just running (is that really so bad?) or maybe she has teenaged boys and she meant it as a heads up, but if so why not say something like "mine were a handful at that age too" to make it more inclusive. Who knows. I always try to be extra nice to the lady next to me on the plane with the screaming infant because it's not like she wants to sit there the entire flight with everyone looking daggers at her, and her baby in distress!! Now, if it was a twenty year old being an ass I would definitely give him a warning look!
DeleteThis is a lovely post. So uplifting. It reminds me of the book "Walking to Listen: 4000 Miles across America One Story at a Time" by Andrew Forsthoefer. You might like it.
ReplyDeleteI have as my personal mantra "Kindness is my default." I refuse to add to the negativity in the world if I can possibly help it. I'm glad that you've found generosity and helpfulness on the road. I know you pay it forward, too.
I need to read that book!! Nance, I definitely get annoyed at people and don't always keep quiet about it but I generally try to be nice and to put myself in others shoes as much as I can. And I definitely pay it forward when possible! At the toaster house, which was free, I cleaned up the kitchen and entryway, even though a lot of it was from other hikers/cyclists, because I want them to keep offering it to other people!
DeleteThis was a lovely reminder that there are nice people out there. Kindness exists!
ReplyDeleteI think it does, but sometimes it is easy to get mired in the negatives, especially when you are watching the news or listening to the talking heads and/or pessimists of the world. People are often good!
DeleteI cannot even with you biking on the Coquilhalla! That is insane. I don't even like driving on it, the speed limit is 120 and no one goes that slow! Okay, okay, I have taken a few deep breaths. Everything's fine, everything's fine.
ReplyDeleteI never in a million years would have thought it would be okay to honk at a biker, I thought it would be rude - but if you say so, maybe I will! You're the expert here.
People can be so wonderful. This is one of those things that "what you focus on is what you see more of" and I love that you're seeing so much kindness.
Everything is fine! But I would not recommend biking on the coquihalla highway. However, it does make a lot of the other highways seem pretty nice and safe!
DeleteYou can honk but never a long honk, it has to be a toot, toot quick two or three or four like a happy little song.
Nicole, I sometimes have mean thoughts, but I try to not focus on them because it can be easy to let them cloud your good ones. I also shake off bad behavior and move on more quickly as I get older, that's for sure!!
This post inspires me and warms my heart. I think I'm a kind person, and I always give bicyclists a lot of space on the road, but I honestly never thought about offering cold beverages, but I will now. I never knew that even a small toot of the horn would be considered as cheerful - so I learned something new here! I worry it would scare the biker and make them tip over! As for driving with big rigs...that sounds terrifying. Even with a car, there's a sense of being blown out of control.
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving cyclists space! I know they appreciate it. There's nothing scarier that a car passing you at fifty or sixty miles per hour and only giving you a foot or two! And yes, driving with big rigs is exactly like being blown out of control! So scary!
DeleteI can't remember any specifics in the moment - what can I say, I'm tired - but yes I've gotten unexpected acts of kindness from strangers and it means the world to me when it happens.
ReplyDeleteYour trip really lends itself to meeting all kinds of new people and being able to go deeper in conversation than you would if you were back in your old life. Who has time to stop and chat during the work day, or when they're cramming in a bike ride on the weekend.
I didn't know that honking was a show of support. I've always taken it negatively when I'm running. But now that I think about it, I think I may be wrong and that I should start thinking of the honks differently.
It really depends on the tone on the honk! Happy shave and a haircut, cool. Leaning on the horn, not cool.
DeleteYou're totally right, I was probably missing out on some interesting conversations by not having or making the time before, but that was then and this is now. I could go back to that someday but for now I'm enjoying taking things a little more slowly!
I've never seen a long haul biker like you, only jerks on their road bikes who breeze through the stop signs and don't call out when they pass on the trail. OK, that's not fair, a lot of people DO call out, and do at least slow down at an intersection, but I think living in a crowded urban area like I do makes things dicey. I like your suggestions, though, and will remember them if they ever come up. I did see a guy on a bike take a fall once a few years ago, and I pulled over to help him. Luckily he was OK, and another person pulled over to help who had a bigger car and also seemed to know him, so I left. I completely believe you on the drag that trucks create, I can feel it in my car sometimes. Heck, I can feel it in my car sometimes at a turn signal when the people in regular cars going straight speed by!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, those jerks on road bikes are a pain and give people like me a bad name, which is probably why the jerks in cars are mean to cyclists sometimes. I won't lie, if there is no traffic, I will do a California stop at a four way stop sign, so obviously nobody is perfect. However, I try to be aware of the people around me, which you definitely cannot say for everyone!! Also, as both a walker and a rider, I am frustrated by both groups! Often riders call out and people do not move, or they move the wrong way. Often walkers and cycles in groups take up the entire path so it is hard to pass (even ones coming toward me don't move over sometimes). This list could go on and on ....
DeleteKyria, this is such a wonderful post. It sounds like you have met many wonderful people on your adventure. I feel like often people in regional areas are more friendly than in the city. I did do a little experiment a few years ago after staying at my parents house and noticing how strangers said hello when passing on the footpaths/coastal paths so when I got back to the city I started saying hello to strangers as I went aobut my walks and maybe 3/4 said hello back and some stuck up a conversation.
ReplyDeleteI agree about rural vs urban. I am from a small town where usually people will stop to ask if you need help whereas often in a city they, as they say, would not piss on you if you were on fire. I always wave or say hello on running paths or country roads, and in the country, 9 times out of 10 I probably get a wave or hello back. I even do this in foreign countries; I learn how to say hi and I say it to everyone!!
DeleteI love random kindness offered by strangers! maybe because we don't expect them, thus we appreciate them even more than our family/friends/colleagues. I enjoy those morning commuters or workers on the street giving me a head node when I run passing by in the darkness. they make me smile inside.
ReplyDeleteI agree re nods tongue runners and I always try to make eye contact with them and give them a smile too!
DeleteI love this! I'm someone who always feels like I'm bugging people, even with random acts of kindness like telling someone I like their shirt or something. LOL. I wouldn't think that a honk sounds friendly, so that's good to know! And I'm glad you've come across so many great people and experiences during this trip.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I need to write a post clarifying the hobbing because there are definitely good honks and bad honks! I think that most people would love you to tell them that you like their shirt! My friend's kids A and L are super complimentary, always saying how cute people's dogs are and stuff, and nobody has ever seemed mad about it!!
Delete*honking! I hate typing on my phone
DeleteWow, this was a wonderful post. Just radiated kindness and warmth. I am always grateful when random strangers offer to help with the kids, or just plain do it. Example: at the airport, R was trying to get on the escalator, and he is good on it, did it many times, except it was a situation with TWO escalators, going the same direction, so of course he runs and get on the one that I did not select. The man behind him goes to me "I got' im." And he kind of stood behind R on that other escalator to make sure that R got off with no issues.
ReplyDeleteOther things, lifting kids onto trains, helping them with their suitcases, taking L by the hand to make sure she is not caught in an automatic door on the train.
Awww, that is so kind of the escalator guy. I would do the same thing and I think that it's great that people (a) offer help and (b) accept it!! Sometimes it is hard to accept it too! I always try to offer people assistance when I can but it is hard to know when to let them be independent and when to help sometimes!
DeleteAwww this is so nice to hear! It's a neat angle of your trip to hear about, too. I feel like people are probably extra impressed seeing a woman, alone, in some pretty tough conditions! Not that it should matter if you're male or female, but you know what I mean. I think it's just got some extra wow factor with what you're all doing. And I love Nance's mantra above, and love her comment of "not adding any negativity to the world if she can help it". Very cool.
ReplyDeleteI do know what you mean and so think that sometimes a woman gets more offers but also the flip side is that sometimes people are afraid to offend or insinuate that a woman can't do it on their own so they are scared to offer...but I think offering and getting a no is better than not offering when maybe the person may be struggling! However, it is sometimes hard to know what to do.
DeleteOh I loved reading this! How nice to find so many small means of connecting with others!
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