One would think that when you are on a long run, you would have plenty of time to hash out some very important things, make some important life decisions and figure out all the problems in your life. In my case, one would be wrong. Here are, in chronological order, some of the things that go through my head on a run. This run was 9 miles long.
Mile 0.1: This isn't too bad. Thank goodness it's not too hot.
Mile 0.12: I have to pee.
Mile 0.4: (I stop at the bathroom. Nothing comes out.) Hm, guess I was just nervous.
Mile 0.5: My left knee hurts. Maybe I should stop.
Mile 0.7: Man, my knee is really hurting. Maybe I will do my long run tomorrow.
Mile 0.8: Should I stop? I will just run one more mile and then if my knee is still hurting, I will stop.
Mile 0.9: I really want to stop.
Mile 1.0: I'm thirsty.
Mile 1.5: Man, I've only gone a mile and a half? Crap. I gotta stop looking at my Garmin.
Mile 2.0: Everyone on this path sure is happy and smiley today.
Smile for me babe.
Whatchu looking at?
I wanna see your grill.
You wanna see my what?
Yuh grill, Yuh, Yuh, yuh grill.
Mile 2.5: Well it is a nice day. Hello bikers! Hello joggers! Hello man wearing street clothes and smoking a cigarette on the running path at 7 am on a Sunday! Wait, what?
Mile 2.7: Darn it. I've only gone 2.7 miles? Maybe my Garmin is broken.
Mile 3.0: I need a wrist sweat band. Is that like totally 80s? Do people still wear those? Will I look like Jane Fonda if I have one? Do I have to wear a thong leotard and listen to Michael Jackson if I have one? Maybe I should feather my bangs too. Wow, this could be a lot of extra work just to get the sweat out of my eyes.
Mile 3.5: Am I to the turn around point yet? This run is taking forever. I gotta stop looking at my Garmin.
Mile 4.0: I'm hot. I should have started running earlier in the day.
Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm
I got the right temperature to shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, girl I got the right tactics to turn you on...
And girl I, wanna be the poppa, you can be the mom.
Oh oh.
Mile 4.5: Turning around. Yay! Dang, I'm thirsty.
Mile 5.0: What the heck kind of shorts is that girl wearing? Helloooo butt cheeks! And a sports bra! What is this, a beauty pageant? Here she comes, Miss America!!
Mile 6.0: Hey only 3 miles left. Thank goodness I have my Garmin.
Mile 6.5: My right knee hurts now.
Mile 7.0: Oh look, a doggie!
Who let the dogs out!!
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
Mile 7.5: I am so tired. I think I just hit the wall. I could take a nap right here.
Mile 8.0: Oh here come three girls running towards me taking up the whole path. One of them will get out of the way so I can pass. Maybe they will do it right before I get there. I know they see me. Huh. They are not moving. Um. Hello ladies? No?
Mile 8.1: Bitches! I can't believe they didn't move! Happy Sunday to you too ladies!
I do know one thing though,
Bitches they come and go,
Saturday through Sunday, Monday
Monday through Sunday yo.
Mile 8.2: My knee hurts, I am so tired and I need to pee. And I have sweat in my eye.
Mile 8.5: Alllllmossssst thereeeerrrrre.
Mile 8.9: Pant, pant.
Mile 9.0: -------- So hot. So thirsty.
Mile 9.001: Hm. That wasn't so bad!
So, as you can see, running is not really making me any smarter. But I am improving my knowledge of rap music, my meteorology skills, my fashion sense and my attitude.
Music credit: (1) Nelly (2) Sean Paul (3) Baha Men (4) Eminem
What do you think about when you are running or working out? Are you solving world problems or do you think about silly things like I do? Have you ever worn a sweat band?
In other news, I signed up for a race:
City of Roses Half -- Cape Girardeau, MO
September 18, 2011
You can read more about the other races I've done
HERE.
Also on
THIS PAGE I made a list of good places to run in the cities I've run in.