11.27.2024

What I Learned: An Introspective Journey

Being on a bike for the last several months has taught me a few things both about other people and about myself and has often caused me to feel things that I don't often feel while going about my prior normal life. 

Great Basin, WY.
96 miles of nothing (no water, no people, no trees).

The first thing I learned is that I am small. Sometimes I would be out in the middle of nowhere with no people and sometimes no trees with the sun beating down on me and I would look around and think that I am literally all alone in this great big world. I did not feel lonely, or scared, but I did feel some kind of realization that I am only a small part of the universe. It is a strange feeling and it makes me think of how we can sometimes feel alone while being surrounded by people. In this case I felt alone while being alone, but the feeling of recognition of that was very similar emotionally. 

Just me and a potentially dangerous lightning storm.

In addtion to that, being on a bike makes me realize how vulnerable we humans are physically. It would take only a millisecond for a car to clip me while I was riding for me to be dead in a heartbeat. Again, although I was not frightened of this happening all of the time, and it was not something I would regularly dwell on, sometimes I would get this shock of recognition that you don't really get when you are "protected" in the metal casing of a vehicle. I actually did not really have too many close calls luckily, but still sometimes I would be riding along and would think about how soft and fragile my body really is, even though it is strong and it is taking me so far. 

I have mentioned this before, but being out in the world makes me realize how kind people really are. I was thinking about this the other day, as I was walking down the street, because I would look up at the people walking toward me and smile at them, and most of the time, they would smile back. This is something I would have not really done that much in San Francisco or Oakland. However, while riding, I often wave at cars, smile at people and have had many people do the same back, or do it first, which is so satisfying! We are all in this world together and I think we often forget that, as we go about our busy days. For some reason, being a weird looking overloaded person in a rain jacket on a bike makes people friendly toward (or feel sorry for) me, and I like it. 

Weird looking overloaded person on a bike.

Speaking of being a weird looking overloaded person, in real life, I HATE drawing attention to myself. Hate it. I will wear black, and avoid eye contact, and I don't even like to cut my hair in fear that someone will announce, HEY YOU GOT A HAIRCUT, in a group of people and then everyone's head will swivel toward me. However, I am now getting used to being stared at, or talked to by random people, or grinned at, and its not that bad. I will probably still not cut my hair very often, and I will probably turn red if many people are looking at me at the same time, but I have (kind of) gotten used to being an anomoly on a bike. 

Obviously I have learned a lot of other things, like how to ride a fully loaded bike on a single track trail, how to fix a flat on the side of the road in the dark, in the rain, on a hot day, amidst a storm of mosquitoes, how stopping for a coffee in a rainstorm can really perk up your day, how having partners in crime can be priceless, and many, many more. But these views into my inner self are sometimes so enlightening! 

Just keep following the yellow shirt!

I feel like many of you are in situations where you do hard things and it gives you perspective on yourself or your lives too. I know runners have many similar reflections, or people with demanding jobs, and I am always amazed by parents and how vulnerable they are and how they have to make hard decisions every day and I wonder how they do it. 

So tell me: what situations in your life have made you see things or realize things about yourself that you don't always take time to think about? 

I hope all of my American readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow, and that everyone else has a great Thursday! 

If you haven't already, you can fill out this form with any questions you want answered for my next ask me anything post!!

This post is part of NaBloPoMo. You can find the rest of my posts for this challenge here. You can find the list of participants and their information here

1 comment:

  1. I have also had the "I'm so small" feeling - I often have it when at the ocean, honestly. Nothing makes me feel tinier than that, even hiking in the mountains. Most of my thinking comes when I'm practicing yoga, honestly. Sometimes I'll come to a big realization on my mat. I mean, most days I don't, but usually that's where it comes.

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