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3.11.2024

A Million Tiny Things

I know that I am not the first person to ever sell a house or make a big change, and I even know that some of you have very recently done this (Nicole, Suzanne) without nary a peep about any of the annoying things that one must do in order to make this happen. Ladies, I applaud you. It is something that is not high on my bucket list, but it is One Of Those Things that must be done in order to get to the next step of your life, hopefully a Good one, or even a Better one than you were at before. 

Of course this makes me think about all of those things that we do to get to something beyond them. Even something as simple as hiking is sometimes not that fun, but you know that the beauty that you will behold will make the trudge worth it. It is almost a kind of type two fun, where the activity itself is often not that fun in the moment, but when you look back you talk about how fun it was. Will I look back and wax poetic about selling stuff on FB Marketplace in six months or a year? Currently I do not think so, but you never know! 

Gratuitous hiking photo: Healy Pass in the snow - Banff, AB

I feel like I have a million tiny things to do. In case I did not mention this in my last post, I am selling my house, but not only that, I am paring down my belongings to a few boxes, mostly of mementos, camping gear and a few reference and childhood books (I just could not help myself!!) This means that much of my last several months of life has consisted of working on my unsuccessful side hustle, sorting through stuff, throwing stuff away and giving stuff away. I do not want to bore anyone too much, but I could tell a whopper of a story about how hard it is to get rid of a simple couch (it is hard). 

Oh, you do want to know why? Well, after having no luck selling it, I tried to donate it to Habitat For Humanity, who by the way is very picky about their items. They do not take any patterned upholstery, sleeper sofas or anything that has oak. They also will not accept anything that has ANY stains or nicks, no matter how tiny. They will not take anything made of particle board or that is painted. So, in a nutshell, they basically do not want used furniture unless it has been wrapped in plastic and never used. However, after speaking to a woman on the phone, submitting an application and submitting photos, the couch was accepted. I was more proud of this day then when I was accepted for college. The truck arrived, the driver disembarked and after looking at the couch, he turned his nose up in denial at it, as if it had just let out a silent but deadly fart, because it had a tiny water mark on one arm. Not only that, but when he was moving out the items that he did accept, he must have also scraped something dirty on it, causing it to have a black smudge on it after he left. I had submitted a request for about 20 things and they only took about 10 of them, and they were not the large items that I really wanted to get rid of. 

A few days later, I phoned option number two, Out of the Closet, to see if I could schedule a pickup and was told that I had to specifically call back on the next Tuesday to schedule a pickup for their next pickup day, which was March 15th. When I called back on Tuesday promptly at nine, I was told that I was going to have to call back on March 18th to schedule a pickup for their next day, which was March 28th. This simply would not do. 

A few days later, I had my brother come with his truck so that we could take the couch, and several large items to Salvation Army, whose website said that they accepted furniture. We pull up to the donation center and we get denied, as they state that they do not accept any furniture. At this point, we already have the car loaded with half of the items, including the couch, and my armpits are starting to smell bad from the fear that this is going to be a lot more difficult that anticipated. 

Broski, the truck & the accursed couch.

I decide to try Out of the Closet, which is down the street from the Salvation Army, so I call them and speak to a nice lady named Brenda who says that yes they do accept furniture, but not if it has any stains or nicks. I tell her that I am going to come with a truck and she says she will come out to look at the stuff when we get there. I get there, go in and get her and she comes out and looks at everything and says that yes, they will take everything. I wanted to kiss her! We unloaded everything and then told her that I had a second load, and even showed her photos and she said she would take all of the second load too. We went home, loaded up the rest, came back, unloaded it and got the heck out of dodge as fast as possible. I kept waiting for Brenda to start chasing me from the back screaming, "wait, this couch has a tiny stain, take it back!" and me yelling, "sorry Brenda, possession is 9/10ths of the law! It's yours now! Have a nice day!" 

Anyway, this story is just one of many similar ones and although it has not necessarily been stressful per se, there are some things that have not been my favorite. For example, I do not really like having strangers in my space. In the last six months, I have probably had no less than 100 people come onto my property, whether it is to buy something, fix something, look at something, load something up or take something. On the other hand, I sold a ladder, a bike rack and a BBQ, all things I was worried that I would have to take to the dump. And thirdly, I talked to all of the people who bought these things, and I was even friendly, which simultaneously makes me feel a little bit like I need a social break and a little bit amazed that I can do things that I hate, and am even okay at faking them fairly well. 

I am not done yet. I still have so many things to do. This week, I have my Global Entry appointment, I have to put my car up for sale and I need to get my bike tuned up. I will have at least two more trips to the donation center, one more night with the girls, and much packing and cleaning to do. I hope to be fully done by this weekend, and will spend Saturday hopefully out on the trails, basking in the (fingers crossed) sunshine and the beauty that is the Pacific coast, before heading out. 

In one week, my house will be empty, I will be the proud owner of nearly no possessions, and I will be free to go where the wind takes me. Did I get everything done that I wanted to get done, the way that I wanted to do it? Nope. But I have accomplished a million tiny things, one tiny thing at a time, and that is good enough for me.  

Have you ever sold your house and/or all/most of your possessions, or moved from one place to another? If so I would love to hear your thoughts about the process! How did you feel? What was the hardest part? What do you hope you never have to do again? 

P.S. I was telling my friend K this story, and she said she just hired people to come and take everything. They recycle or donate 80% of the items and it cost her about $200 to have them come the next day. This is not a sponsored post, but maybe if you want to avoid the hassle of DIY, hire someone like this company in your area! PPS but she won't have the "fun" stories that I have, will she?! 

28 comments:

  1. Oh, my goodness, what a ton of work! I moved six years ago, which involved selling my condo and weeding out a ton of possessions (though far from the scale of yours), and it really felt like death by a thousand paper cuts sometimes. Getting people to come and pick up something I am giving them for free, how is it so hard?! I did use the get-junk people for my two ratty old loveseats and my bed, when I couldn't find anyone who wanted them. It was worth the money to get rid of them at that point. I'm glad you finally found someone to take your couch! Best of luck with all the remaining moving parts.

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    1. Thanks! It is like a thousand tiny paper cuts. I have not even started talking about the emotional part of parting with many things. Why is it that I was so attached to my blender? Probably because I used it nearly every day and spent a lot on it, but it is so strange that I almost had personal feelings for it. I did get rid of it, and in that case, for not much less than I sold it for, which also is an emotional boost for some reason. I can't explain how the money and the emotions and the items all kind of run together.

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  2. Selling a house is the worst. I didn't want the second job of selling the stuff that I got rid of when I moved in with the Hubs, so I donated everything. Weekend after weekend of hauling stuff to Goodwill. I used a "we pick it up" charity service for furniture and I was thrilled that they took several things that their website said that they wouldn't take, like my very old bed with a saggy mattress. The rest went out on my curb and fortunately the pick up rate was 100%. But gaaaa it was A LOT. And then when my house sold I picked a bad contractor to do one of the required repairs and it came down to the wire. Like you say it was a million tiny things with a few big ones here and there. And then poof! the house sold and my bank balance was suddenly in the triple digits.

    Anywayzzzzzz...if it was hard to sell my house and get rid of a lot of possessions as a singleton, I can only imagine what that would look like family style. Seriously, I don't EVER want to go through the experience of moving from this house. But also when I read about full time travelers and imagine what that would look like for me, I also realize that I don't need most of the things that I have. Lots of things to think about.

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    1. Amen sister. Lots of things to think about! As I mentioned above to CCR, there are so many emotions involved as well. So there is just plain physical work, also logistical work, and then emotional work. And I am a frugal person and I know it is stupid but I have a hard time throwing away perfectly good items and so I want so badly for them to go to a good home but in the end sometimes they just need to go in the trash! I am taking a run to the dump today (and that is another story in itself) as I also have a bunch of large odds and ends that are not really donatable (pallets, old HD buckets, old patio chairs etc.) I really do think that if you are going to donate or trash things (not try to sell) the junk pickup is the way to go. Looking back, the brainpower that it took to figure out where to take everything is TOTALLY worth $200.

      Re selling, that will be a whole other blog post! We have all kinds of compliance rules here (sewer, sidewalk etc.) and I just got quotes for those (along with staging, painting, repairs etc.) and wowza! I am trying to think of how small those numbers are compared to what it will bring in profit for the sale, but WOWZA.

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  3. LOL forever at your sweet comment that I didn't complain. I feel like all I've done for the past year is complain about moving. It is awful! I am both excited for you and sorry you have to endure it!

    That couch story. Oh my goodness. WHY IS IT SO HARD. I am so very glad you were able to get rid of the couch and other things at long last! What an ordeal! Like your friend K, I hired a junk removal person to come and get some things, most notably our old broken exercise bike. It was SO HARD to get someone to agree to come get it! And he was so rude to me on the phone! But it worked out in the end.

    I hope everything else goes smoothly from here on out, but in case it doesn't, you have my sympathy and I am happy to read any and all rants or complaints about any and all parts of the process.

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    1. I must have missed all of the posts where you complained because in my mind you were talking about dinners in one house and then you were talking about dinners in another house and you were smiling and you had on a pretty dress and a ponytail. Whereas I am like an old crone, yelling at the kids (or the realtor, and the stager and the sewer inspection guy) to get off my lawn. My friend K is wise, but now that I am almost done I am definitely not paying for the last few things. However, looking back, I probably should have done it at the beginning. However, sometimes you need to sort and re-sort and so that takes time, and I was not really ready to call a guy two months ago. I am ready now!

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  4. I've done big moves to/from Charlotte but the move to Charlotte was not by choice and I was in the midst of studying for L3 of the CFA so it was a very stressful process. However it was made far easier by the fact that the company paid for the packing/shipping of my goods, including my car. So I just got on a plane. But wow that was weird to go from your condo being full of your stuff to being completely empty a matter of hours and then getting on a plane to move to a new place. I didn't have any sort of "transitional" time. It was kind of abrupt. I remember I basically cried hard - borderline sobbed - on the flight to Charlotte whilst also studying for the CFA... I was such a crying mess. My poor seat mates from that flight must have wondered what the heck was wrong with me. Oof. So I hope I will never have to do a forced move again in my life. That whole year contained just so much crying. I probably cried more in that year than I will in my entire life. But that was very different from what you are doing!

    I hope the process of selling your house is easy and that you get like 20 offers in a day. I have no idea what the real estate market is like out there. Things are weird here w/ the low supply of houses... there is just so little for sale so my sense is that things that are priced right/in a desirable location can go fast.

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    1. Yes to your last comment. The question is, what exactly is "priced right?" The supply/demand right now are both low, but like you said, the low supply may mean that a new listing gets snapped right up. I predict that I will get less for it than I would have two years ago, but it should get offers quickly. I am okay with that. As Ed used to say, there is no harm in taking a profit and if I have a profit, even if it is not the same profits as during the pandemic, I am ready to take it!

      For your move to Charlotte, did you have to put anything in a box or pack anything at all? Luckily too you were renting the downtown condo right? I think that would have been so stressful, but even more so if you also had to sell, and even more so if you had kids and a family. I can't even imagine. Although I also can't really imagine doing much of anything else when studying for the CFA. I remember meeting you there and I can't even believe you also invited me to stay with you while studying for the CFA!

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  5. I moved twice and just the process of packing and unpacking made it a chore, especially the unpacking part, figuring out where to put things. I guess the more time we move, i'll get better at it and less annoyed by it. When we moved out of the philippines, I gave away a lot of furnitures as our condo in jakarta is smaller. Fortunately my colleague friends were happy to take them so they were gone in one day. Good luck with your trimming down process, I'm excited for your journey to come. I agree that sometimes we don't find something fun when we are at it, but looking back they could be fun. Same with a difficult endavour like hiking a difficult mountain, we suffer at the moment but when we are done with it, we feel accomplishment.

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    1. You are spot on re the mountain analogy! I have hiked some where I am wondering what the heck did I get myself into and why am I even doing this, and then I get to the top and BOOM, there's a beautiful view and I feel strong and like I can do anything. In the path of my journey now, I can see the summit but the trail just got a bit steeper for that last push.

      You are lucky that you could get rid of stuff easy! When I lived in San Francisco, we used to just put things out on the curb and they would always be gone in less than a day. We even put our old TV out there and someone snatched it right up. That would be great if that were the case now! I have put out some plants and they did eventually get taken but it was not super fast and I kind of felt like an old cat lady with the trashy yard for a few days.

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  6. Oh, I really feel for you. I can't imagine doing such a big downsize. We had to do a big downsize when we sold our big family home and then another when we moved from our rental to our apartment. We give and sold away a heap of stuff. Can I tell you how happy I was when we found out the people coming into our rental were relocating from Hong Kong and when we offered our fridge (great fridge in good working order) and our large three seater for free they said yes. We were just glad to not have to move them!

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    1. Yes, that would have been a relief! I had a BBQ that I was feeling like that about. I had no idea if I could put it on the curb as trash, and the donation place would not come and pick it up. Luckily a guy finally came and bought it and even moved it himself so in the end I did not have to do anything! Also I was so happy that I did not have to trash it, as it was still a good BBQ!! It is crazy how our emotions can go up and down depending on what we are getting rid of (or not!)

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  7. Oh man, that couch story brings back memories! When Andy and I moved to the states we collected free furniture from nextdoor in Marin. Then we moved to Portland with it all, and then we had to get rid of it when we moved to the UK. Some of that furniture was way nicer than what we have now! Anyways, we had a leather couch which we got for free (except for the fact that I carried it in the back of a pick up truck while crying because I was terrified driving something so big... but that didn't cost any money, just emotional terror). Anyways, we had to get rid of the leather couch. I put it on gumtree for $75 and someone texted and asked what the cheapest I would sell it for if they picked it up today and I said $25... I didn't even care about the money, I just wanted it gone but I also realized that people flake ALL THE TIME on free things. Some guys from a local car shop came and took the couch and gave us $25 and I was so happy to have it gone and not be messed about.

    I should write some posts about moving because I loved reading yours and I have some funny stories... someone once bought a mattress from us and threw it off our second story balcony, then folded it and shoved it in his car. We had sold it as pristine with cover (which it was) but it certainly wasn't when he chucked it onto the road!

    Good luck with everything, such an exciting and amazing move for you. We never sold a house before (we didn't buy one) and that seems like a whole additional level of tricky!

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    1. I would love to hear your posts about moving, especially since you did it all to another country! I am still interested about the race medals and I am sure there are many more things like that which you kept and had to lug across the pond. I find it so weird to see what we are emotionally attached to, or in my case as well, often financially attached to. It feels like the more I spent, the more attached I am, or if someone gave it to me, I have a hard time parting with that for free. But often it has no rhyme or reason in other people's eyes. For example, my parents got me a BBQ several years ago and I felt guilty for getting rid of it, but for some reason would feel better if I at least got a good price.

      Your mattress story is priceless. I spent a lot of time with the guy who bought my bike rack, and even helped him put it on his car. An update, which I will probably write about later, is that yesterday I put a whole pile of things in my driveway as free and they were gone in a couple of hours! Why did I not just do that before!? It could have saved me dozens of trips to the donation center!

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  8. I can’t even imagine moving, selling my house, or downsizing. I’ve never done it, and I can imagine that it’s tough and stressful. But you had me laughing out loud about your couch! You will have great stories to tell! And I wish you all the best and can’t wait to hear about your new adventures.

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    1. Thanks! I definitely will have stories; I am not sure that they are great per se. I would say that I don't feel stressed, but the timing of everything is a little hard. For example, I do not want to be lugging stuff to the dump or the donation center on the day I am trying to move, so I have thrown away or given away a lot of things that I could be using. For example, kitchen bowls. I am basically using and washing a couple of bowls now, and they are my normal car camping bowls, so are not the best quality. However, it works, but I do feel like a freshman in college, making grilled cheeses on an illegal hotplate in my dorm room. Next up, Top Ramen!

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  9. Wow, what a saga! I feel sorry for your poor, innocent couch, whose only crime is to Exist As A Couch. I feel like all furniture stores in your area should have big Black Box Warning Labels on couches that list all of these caveats.

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    1. Yes, the poor couch did nothing wrong and actually was a good couch overall. I actually asked my realtor for a task list to see if I was missing anything, as there are so many things -- for example, electricity and gas and water and garbage, do you cancel them and if so, when? Mail forwarding, what you can take to the dump and when, what to do or not do in the house vs how much you can make on the sale...those would be helpful things!

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  10. I used to read a mommy blog where a couple sold their house and belongings and traveled on the road on an RV for a year. I still think about how sad she was when her husband sold their dining room table. I'm not sure if she enjoyed the trip in the RV or not. Hard to say. https://www.metropolitanmama.net/whose-story-is-it/

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    1. This is exactly how I feel; we have a strange attachment to some things for sure. But it is not just that, it is the feeling of being weightless, in a good way, but also drifting, as if your things were keeping you grounded. But it is also not just the things, there is an identity, a purpose, a community, that you are leaving behind. That is a little deep and I am still processing that part of it, so may write about it at some point. Right now I am still in task mode and so am checking off the to do boxes and have not had as much time to think too much about the feelings aspect!

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  11. There is so much work involved in selling a house and moving. I can't actually believe we got through it with our marriage intact, honestly. It was so stressful. We did get rid of a lot of furniture, much of it did go to Habitat for Humanity. They were picky but not as picky as your experience. I had to send photos and while our stuff was in good shape, it wasn't perfect. We got rid of our dining room table and chairs, bar stools, boys' bookshelves, couch, recliner, and I can't remember what else. We gave away a few items - other bookshelves, two dressers - on our local Buy Nothing but that was a gong show, honestly. The boys' beds, sadly, had to go to the landfill. No one would take them. For us, moving five vehicles across provinces was probably the most logistically challenging part of the move. Also, just mentally surviving all the changes!

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    1. Nicole, if I had to do this move with another person, on one hand, maybe they could have met with all of the FB marketplace guys, because I hate doing that. I also would have loved instant help moving items, rather than having to do it myself or find a willing hand. However, the emotional part of parting with items is already hard enough; I imagine if two people have emotions invested, it is even harder.

      I actually just put a bunch of stuff out for free in my driveway and it was gone in a matter of hours. I was so surprised, but on the other hand, it was good stuff, so I am happy that someone wanted it and it has saved me (ANOTHER) trip to the donation center! I would be interested to hear how you moved all of the vehicles, and also why you have five of them!!

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  12. I'm catching up. I've helped my Mom with the downsizing of the lake house, that was a chore! Honestly the furniture was so old we had to take it to the dump. There was absolutely no one who would have been willing or wanted those pieces of furniture. Then when my parents sold the house I grew up in I helped with that process too. We donated quite a bit and they kept the furniture. Honestly the places around here are not as picky as what it sounds like you went through! I think it could be due to all of the small businesses that take and repurpose furniture. I didn't have a lot of furniture when I moved into this house. I did have LOTS of clothes and shoes and I've actually let go of quite a bit although admittedly I've added inventory but theoretially that will get sold at some point :) I'm behind, are you moving to a different state or is this a cut ties and explore the world kind of move?

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    1. Hi, welcome back! I think that it is picky here because there is so much inventory. I do remember though when I lived in Gainesville, due to the college cycle, you knew that if you wanted something you just drove around in May when the kids were leaving, as there was free stuff galore! Of course, if you were a "normal" person trying to get rid of something in May for a price, you were basically screwed.

      Re your last question, the latter! Cut ties and explore!

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  13. I have never done a move of this magnitude - especially getting rid of almost all of your possessions! That has to be such an intensely emotional experience. The whole couch ordeal sounded like a NIGHTMARE. I sold mine to one of those charity shops, Goodwill or Salvation Army or something, and it was NOT in great condition but they accepted it! Maybe their standards have gone way up in the last few years, ha.

    I can't believe you take off for your trip so soon! I know you have been preparing for this for a while so you are probably SO READY for the adventure!

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    1. Stephany, you are so right. I am ready, but I am also not ready. It feels so weird to be having going away dinners and things like that. I spent the evening with the girls yesterday, which I do at least once a week, and A, who is 13, was asking my why I had to leave and it made me kind of realize that hey, I am actually going to miss some things that I have right now! I have always had people just tell me to just git, git out, and her being sad to see me go made the reality sink in a little! I think I am still just trying to get through this week, but next week I will have time to be both nervous and excited!

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  14. What? Okay, ACK! Somehow I missed your last post so I had no idea this was all happening. I'm blown away by all this, and I can't wait to hear all about your adventures. I guess you can tell by my astonishment that no, I've never done anything like this. I'm pretty sure few people have. You have a true adventurous spirit!
    And... that story about the couch is so ridiculous! WHO would have thought it would be so hard to give a couch away??? Well, I'm sure you're glad that's over with.
    Good luck with all the little things that remain... soon it will be over and you'll be free!!!

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    1. I am glad that it is over with! There have been many things like this and I was telling a friend of mine that it would have been nice to have a "when you are about to move" checklist with details about who takes what and where to take it and whether or not you have to schedule it and how far in advance. I think the juggling of all of the things has been the hardest part, like how early do I get rid of the couch? Do I want to use it until the last minute or do without? Then when I am ready, do I need a week to get it out of here? A day? A month? That part is the hardest. Not knowing how it all works. But, I am almost done and then I am moving on to the next adventure!

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