Grandad |
Yours is not to question why; yours is but to do or die. This is the one that gave me the initial deja vu feeling, and I actually looked it up and the phrase is actually "ours is not to reason why," but it is still an alteration of a line in a Tennyson poem about the British military: “Theirs not to make reply / Theirs not to reason why / Theirs but to do and die.” However, I am pretty sure that my family used to mean that if you are a child, just do as you are told. I guess this kind of jives with the military aspect, although luckily as a child we would not actually die, which cannot be said for the soldiers.
Children should be seen and not heard. My Grandad was often working when we were at his house and you had to always be quiet. This also was used when we interrupted, and I would often stand there quietly, waiting for him (or my Dad) to call on me to speak when he was on the phone or talking to someone else. Of course in my child's mind, what I wanted to say (probably "can I have an ice cream") was important, but he would make me wait my turn.
A penny saved is a penny earned. As I have talked about before, I am actually a saver, and I don't know if it was this phrase that kicked off my habit, but this is one I heard often. I actually had a savings account when I was quite young; in fact I had a little bank ledger book that I would record each entry in and I was fastidious about keeping track! Although I don't think we should pinch pennies so much that we do not enjoy our day to day life, I do think that not spending on frivolous things now can help build a bigger pot for later, as the saying indicates. I think my Dad and Grandma still also use the phrase, so it lives even though my Grandad does not.
In for a penny, in for a pound. If you are start something, you may as well go all out, no matter how difficult or costly it is. Once again, I do not know if I have this phrase in my head when completing a race, or working on a project at work, but I definitely believe in finishing what you started, so maybe this phrase stuck too! However, I am not sure I would always throw good money after bad, so the literal "pound" part of if may give me pause.
A job worth doing is worth doing well. Once again, I think this one makes sense. My parents had a business and I worked in the convenience store and helped clean cabins from the time I was about eight. I remember my Dad checking on my sweeping and mopping at the end of the evening and making me redo it if there was dirt in any of the corners. My Mom makes her beds with perfect hospital corners and I also learned to do this by having to redo it if I got it wrong. I hated that, and I hated redoing it, BUT guess what, they were right to do that (thanks guys) because I do not like to do shoddy or half baked work now. To be frank, my Dad will probably still go one step further than me because he is a Gemini perfectionist, and my Mom's hospital corners are still way tighter than mine, but doing it right the first time rather than having to fix it again later makes sense!
Have you heard these phrases? Do you agree with them? What phrases do/did your grandparents or parents use often?
A penny saved is a penny earned for sure showed up in my house. My parents were very poor in the early years of their marriage and they were HUGE about saving. I wasn't allowed to spend any money I earned when I was a kid; it all had to go into the bank. I had mixed feelings about this some times, but I finished university with money in the bank, and I 100% credit my father for that!
ReplyDeleteMy parents had TONS of sayings, especially my Dad ("Immediately, or sooner." "It builds character." "Put on a sweater." (I was forever complaining about being cold). But the most memorable line came from my grandmother who would regularly say: More by good luck than good management. She mostly said this when she was playing my brother in an epic Crokinole tournament; if he made a good shot she would chuckle and say: that was more by good luck than good management. I loved her so much!! I just finished reading Lisa's post and am having ALL the feels about Grammie today. She would also so: So near by yet so far (also about Crokinole and a missed shot).
Here is are links to a few posts I've written about sayings: http://elisabeth-frost.com/?p=8147 and http://elisabeth-frost.com/?p=8110
Hah! My Dad used the "character" line too! He would also always say, after jumping in the river in the spring, that it was "invigorating," which we knew meant VERY COLD. Your grandma's saying about near yet far sounds like one that our family said...close, yet so far away, although I can't remember when it was used most. We also used, "close but no cigar" a lot. We also talk about luck vs skill in games, but do not really have a specific saying that I can remember.
DeleteI read your post and also your vacation sayings post and I think that you have some good nuggets in there. I especially like the "it will feel different tomorrow" and I think we used to say something like that but I will have to ask my Mom! Basically tomorrow is another day! It's almost like the AA phrase, one day at a time, which makes complete sense, especially on extra hard days!
I love little phrases like these! One of my favorites is "Whatever you are, be a good one." I actually just bought my son an 8th grade graduation card with that phrase on it. I've always liked that, because it can be applied to anything, no matter how big or small your "job" or "role" is.
ReplyDeleteToo funny about your mom and the hospital corners. I've actually kind of started cracking down on my boys and their beds. They are required to make their beds (most) mornings, but I've noticed they've gotten VERY sloppy about it many times. Like it's technically made, but looks like crap. ha. Crumpled blankets, all lumpy, clearly done in poor fashion. So a few times after they've left for school, I've gone in and pulled all the blankets off and onto the floor. I told them, Make it right the first time, or when you get home from school you can remake the whole thing!!! ;) Ha. They loved that. :)
I am sure that you probably have seen the Admiral's college speech about making your bed (https://youtu.be/pxBQLFLei70)? It really resonated with me how that is the start of your day and how that can really change your entire day and life! I think that my Mom really was a stickler on that, but to be honest, I can't really remember a specific conversation I had with her, or any time she had to gripe at me about making my bed, although I am sure they happened! I also don't remember her going back to check to see if I had done it right (that was more my Dad's style) but I am assuming she probably did that too!
DeleteYour "be a good one" phrase is a lot like "a job worth doing." Making sure that whatever you do or try you do your best is important!
I do agree with all of these statements! My mom also taught us to make beds with hospital corners. So it's ingrained in me to use that technique to make beds.
ReplyDeleteThe phrase that I think of most that my grandpa said, which is very light hearted, is that there is always room for ice cream. He would then say it will melt into the cracks. :)
Ha! My Dad always has room for ice cream too, and as we have all gotten older, he has decided to sometimes eat it before dinner, since he doesn't have to set a good example anymore! Unfortunately, he had slightly high cholesterol on one of his tests and the doc told him to cut down on the ice cream so he actually does not eat it as much anymore, but he is an ice cream connoisseur!
DeleteOh I love these! My parents used to use SEVERAL of these on me when I was growing up! My mom also liked "nothing difficult is easy," which is something I just taught my daughter the other day.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good one and it is so true! I don't know if my family had an exact phrase about that, but I know that doing a job right and to it's fullest, even if it was hard, was always (is still!) important to them! We actually had a lot of "job" related sayings, which is probably telling!
Deletei used to be more a saver than spender, I think i still am, but i feel less insecure now to spend on experiences and quality things we use in a daily basis. the switch happened when I realize I am not an inmigrant anymore as it was the case for my parents, with financial insecurity all the time. Now I'm in a stable job that most likely I'll retire there, so really no need to be too frugal at the expense of our quality of life. Yet, I'm very cheap and frugal on things that I don't care. I'll always buy the cheapest things that we use, will not spend $$ for a luxury car, and don't buy anything brand anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a sign that you are becoming and adult! Seriously, I think that we do learn to prioritize as we get older, although our parent's do pass a certain amount of their fears onto us. My grandma is a bit of a hoarder and although I am not as much of one, I do like to have a stocked pantry! I will never be one of those people who has to go to the grocery store every day...however, she had the depression on her mind, and I am trying not to have her fears be mine!
DeleteI have heard and I love and agree with all those statements, with the exception of children being seen and not heard. Kids are so interesting to listen to and they always have cool perceptions about the world. I know that's really a generational thing though. My teens talk to me a lot and are very honest with me about their lives, and I think it's because I have always listened to them and have tried not to show judgement or upset about what they say. On the other hand, when I was their age, I was almost never upfront with my parents - or any adults, really - and I lied or covered up a lot. It was because we weren't allowed to show negative emotion or any big emotion, and we were supposed to be quiet. I don't fault my parents, I think this was just a really common thing in generations that came before us.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. I spend a lot of time with a friend of mine and her two kids, who are 9 and 13. They talk about periods, and boys and feelings and all kinds of things...and I don't think that was as common 40 years ago. I find it a bit shocking but refreshing to be honest, because it was not the way I was brought up. I would never talk to my parents about a crush I had on a boy. NEVER. But these kids just talk about everything!
DeleteI grew up in a different country and we had our fair share of pithy statements like these. I love all of those from your grandfather but especially "a job worth doing is worth doing well." No half-assing anything lol
ReplyDeleteThat is one that I am fully on board with too! I think it's important to take pride in your work. I have a hard time doing group work (even now!) because I am usually the one doing all of the work while some people are happy to just sit back and let the job get done without them lifting a finger!
DeleteLIke Nicole, I agree with all of these except the children one. I think kids should be encouraged to talk and be listened to- otherwise they won't want to talk to you when they get older. But, I know that was a common sentiment back in the day.
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather was a loving, good man but he didn't speak much! So I can't really come up with any words of wisdom from him. But I have a lot of good memories nonetheless.
Yes, I agree about the children one. I also think that the lessons are good, but sometimes the delivery was a little hard to take when I was a kid.
DeleteHa! I had to look up hospital corners because I had no idea what that meant. I grew up with fitted sheets and duvet covers, so bed making with top sheets is a mystery to me.
ReplyDeleteI understand and get most of these sayings, although I struggle to find "equivalents" in German, but like Daria, I am sure we had a lot of sayings of our own. One thing that stuck with me as a kid with a very strong sense of justice was that my Grandad always said "the world is harsh and unfair, you'd better get used to it". I thought that was harsh and I didn't want to hear it, but I think he was right in some ways.
Your grandfather's saying is harsh but probably true nonetheless! Sometimes reality is hard, and I guess it's up to our elders (and now us) to impart the wisdom to the younger generations, whether they like it or not!
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