Regarding friendship: Logistician friends are not spontaneous. They are not talkative, or particularly playful in their affection. What Logistician friends are is loyal, trustworthy, honorable and dependable. Others may come and go with the ups and downs of life, but Logisticians stay by their friends’ sides no matter what, with a deepness of commitment that other types may not even believe is possible.
Logisticians are a very methodical personality type, and this loyalty isn’t given away lightly. Often slow to make friends, Logisticians usually end up with a smaller circle, but they consider that circle to represent a promise to be there for the people they care about, and Logisticians’ promises are not easily broken.
I know sometimes we fit ourselves into our horoscope or other personality boxes, but I have to say, the above really does describe me to a tee. This may be something for another post, but one of the other things it talks about is integrity and how ISTJs follow through and don't understand people who do not do what they say they are going to do (yes!) so this personality description really does tick a lot of the boxes for me!
But I digress; what I wanted to talk about was blogging. Why do people write stuff about their life that is personal and put it out in the ether for others to judge? For me, I started blogging when I was traveling around Southeast Asia as a way to communicate what I was doing and where I was to multiple people at the same time, instead of writing an email newsletter or something more tailored to a few people (here is my first blog post). My only readers were probably my parents and my grandma, who would never comment but would talk to me or email me about things later, so I knew that I had at least three followers. My grandma has since passed away, but my parents are still here somewhere (hi guys!)
I would guess that for the first few years I got a handful of comments from people that I actually knew and none from anyone I did not know. This space was more of an online (public) journal.
Then I got my first comment from a stranger. It was so satisfying; I had made a connection! I answered them right away and was excited when they commented again on another post. I started reading their blog and commenting and they would answer me back. Back in these days, all comments from readers went into my email inbox and the way to respond to comments was to email the person back. Sometimes we would have a long private back and forth about a lot of personal things and would learn a lot about each other that was NOT put out into the ether. It was very satisfyingly.
A short while after that, I met up with some of my online friends in real life! My other friends and family thought I was crazy, and one of them even asked me if I worried that my blogging friends may be psychos, but the trip went so well that since then I have met up with several other people that I have met online! There is something about the connection you get when you hear a lot of people's inner thoughts and you learn about their everyday life, as well as the interaction you have along the way.
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| Minneapolis - September 2011 |
There were years when I just did not feel like putting myself out there (in 2019 I only posted once), but I have still kept the connections that I have made. This year I decided to start writing a little bit more again, and I have met many new people that I feel are kindred spirits!
However, going back to my ISTJ personality, I am slow to make friends and I am not one to have a lot of friends with shallower or lighter connections; I like to have a smaller handful of closer connections. I find this also translates to my online connections; I don't read or comment on a hundred blogs or write just to see how many comments I can get without answering them. I like to have the interaction and the back and forth, and I have been known to stop following someone who seems to be just trying to win a popularity contest. However, some of the connections I have made over the years have resulted in friends for life and that is the coolest part of this story. I know that meeting people online now is de rigueur, but back in the day (when I walked uphill both ways in the snow) it was not as normal, but I am glad that I put myself out there back then, and will continue to do so now.
If you have taken the Meyers Briggs, what personality type are you? If you have not, please do (it only takes a few minutes) and tell me what your result is and if you think it fits your perceived personality!
Why did you start blogging and/or why are you here reading? Have you ever met any of your online connections in real life?
Team ISTJ here as well. My last workplace was very in to personality tests, and although my coworkers and I loved to make fun of them for it, we also had to admit that we all had a lot in common and worked together very well.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging to share recipes, and then very innocently decided to start writing a weekly post about what I was eating, and that morphed into a "what I'm up to" weekly post. So I went from impersonal to personal. In the beginning I shared my posts with people that I knew and over time I separated the blog from my personal life. I think that as I've gotten older that I've had more disappointments with "real" people and I feel like I have to be a bit more guarded IRL. On the internets, I can just relax and let my hair down and find out what's going on with the similarly minded peoples who also write blogs.
I'm pretty sure that you were the icebreaker and left a comment on my blog and that's how I found you. I've found a lot of the bloggers that I follow now from comments on other blogs and it's always fun to find a new friend. Especially one with great reading taste!
Well you have hit the nail on the head there re my being the icebreaker. I think that in the past, I did not go and seek out new blogs AND comment regularly. I found over the years that sometimes you have to put your neck out there and sometimes you really make a connection and sometimes it falls flat! However, I also think that your comment about letting your hair down is interesting, because I feel the same even though ANYONE can read these posts, I still feel less guarded. I think that is the introvert part coming out; it is easier to write with abandon than open up your heart in person (IRL).
DeleteI did not realize that you were also an ISTJ! Phil is nearly the opposite of us - I think he is an ENTF! Except he doesn't believe in personality tests so won't take the test to confirm my hunch.
ReplyDeleteI think I have a larger group of friends than the typical ISTJ. I thinking making connections/friends is something I'm good as I am pretty outgoing. But I like to connect with people in small groups - I do not generally like really big gatherings. The exception was our wedding which I loved!
I've blogged all along but was feeling kind of meh about it until a couple of years ago when I met a new group of bloggers - which you now interact with!! I'm so glad blogging brought us together!
You think Phil is an ENTF? I would probably peg him as an I and a J, but I have not really seen him out amongst friends very often. However, I do feel he is more judging than feeling...? I wish he would take it; I get hours of entertainment from these tests. I actually usually get along with ISTJ which you would think would not be the case, as we are so similar, but Gavin is also one and I think our similar work ethic works well.
DeleteRe feeling meh, I had the same occurrence! I think because many of the original gang kind of dropped off, the interaction was different which meant it was less satisfying. So having a small group of kindred spirits really helps and I think that was missing. I also think that with some of the other social media platforms, blogging is not so "in" anymore (why blog when you can Vine or TickTock or....?!) but I find a lot of the other platforms do not create a deeper connection, so are not as good for making friends.
Sorry - I'm going to be my nerdy personality self. Phil would either be ENTJ or ENTP. So either a planner (ENTJ) or someone who prefers flexibility in their life (ENTP). I LOVE TALKING PERSONALITIES. OKAY, I'M DONE.
DeleteI started blogging because I was living in a different state from all my friends and I was lonely and wanted an outlet to just share my feelings. For years no one read, but I didn't really care. Ha. I have meet a couple of people from my blog and it's always really interesting how you can just skip the small talk with blog friends because they already know all the basics! I just love the art of blogging and how you can learn so much about the logistics of how people live their lives and the small details that make us all different.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it gives an insight into the small details, and so when you meet it is like you have been life long friends, whereas most people you start off as casual friends but it takes a long time to get deeper and even longer to know how they do their laundry! :) I also think that we are more likely to put personal things on the internet, which seems counterintuitive, but maybe it just feels like you are more anonymous and then by the time you finally meet you don't really feel embarrassed because they already know all of the nitty gritty?!
DeleteI got INFJ-T. I have no idea what that means - haha.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging a few years ago because I love to write and find it so cathartic to write, but wouldn't do it privately in a journal. I just couldn't stick with it. I love the blogging community and find everyone so supportive and lovely.
I haven't met anyone in person because of blogging, but I also only started blogging in May 2021 and live in rural Canada!
I think that putting your thoughts on the internet and getting feedback can be so much more satisfying than a journal, even when they are dark and twisty! It is nice to not sink into yourself but instead to put it out there and find that others share your pain/joy etc.!
DeleteYou are an Advocate! https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality I have posted a snippet below about Advocates and friendship and I think that last two lines really sum you up nicely! You do have a lot of honesty and insight and I think that is why I feel a connection with you and your blog!
Advocates may be Introverted, but they value deep, authentic relationships with others. Few things bring these personalities as much joy as truly knowing another person – and being known in return. Advocates enjoy meaningful conversations far more than small talk, and they tend to communicate in a way that is warm and sensitive. This emotional honesty and insight can make a powerful impression on the people around them.
Oh. my. goodness. This is SO me! It's a bit scary how accurate these stereotypes/personality frameworks can be...
DeleteI love being connected with you!! ENTJ here, which is pretty rare and I'm getting more introverted every year
ReplyDeleteInteresting! So you are morphing into an I, you think? I think the pandemic has caused a lot of people to become more introverted. I wonder what your results will be in ten years. I have retaken the test probably a half a dozen times and I keep getting the same results so I guess mine is pretty stuck! I doubt I will become an extrovert, or less judgy(!) as I get older.
DeleteI am ENTJ when I took it 10 years ago, I might have changed. I also prefer having a smaller and closer circle of friends, rather than many friends at superficial level. I do the same with blogger friends, I don't comment/read dozens life bloggers, but those that I do I love following them on their trips, their thoughts, and their life in general as if they are part of my friendship circle. I'd love to meet up if I had the chance. I started blogging in 2008, and have met quite a few when I was living in the US and made a good friend for few years. Now that I live abroad, it's harder to meet up.
ReplyDeleteI have met up with a lot of people now, but it definitely requires some travel in my case, as most of my blog connections do not live near me. I guess I could try to find bloggers nearer, but I think that does not seem as authentic. I have traveled to a lot of places to meet up though and it has been a great way to meet new people AND explore new places! Next time I am in Southeast Asia, I will look you up!
DeleteI also started blogging while I was traveling (in 2009) under a different blog. I think I had some readers, but it was mostly my friends and family. I loved it as a record but took it down recently when I decided to declutter my internet presence. I started this blog in 2010 when I moved to Wales, then took a 9 year blogging gap. I think I started again because I wanted to find the enjoyment of the internet like it was when I first started using it. I didn't want facebook or instagram or content fed to me by algorithms, I wanted to find interesting people on the internet and read their blogs. I'm glad I found yours because it's been so interesting reading about your life. I'm not sure why I like blogs so much more than "social networks" but I think it's more authentic (at least, for little bogs) and it's nice to hear about how different people live and experience the world.
ReplyDeleteI do feel a bit awkward about what I put on my blog now and have to remind myself that in addition to people I don't know, my dad and a friend from college read it. But I also think that there is so much on the internet now that random small-time blog is not where I need to be super guarded in what I say. Hopefully. And if not, it's very easy to delete a blog.
Isn't that funny; I also feel a bit awkward, but more so because of the people that I know (like my parents and a local running friend of mine) than I do with "strangers." None of them ever comment on the blog but they will say things that make me realize they are keep up with my doings!
DeleteI also have had a few different blogs; I started one when I started running and had another dedicated to photos, but when this one started to be my main one that I posted on, I ended up consolidating a couple of them. I should probably cull them a little, but they are kind of a snapshot in time which is kind of fun to look back on, even if it is not as polished.
Yes to this. Somehow I always think that only people that comment read, but in reality a lot more people read than comment. My husband reads every post...but never comments. Randomly, the spouse of one of my friends reads and will mention something going on to their partner who will be like: What? How did you know X,Y,Z happened to Elisabeth. And it's all because of the blog! It always takes me by surprise!
DeleteI have done the Myers-Briggs test more than once but I can NEVER remember what I am. I think I have some kind of mental block with it. Maybe I should write it down? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI've met many blogging friends for a few reasons: I met some local bloggers many years ago on individual and group meet-ups, I went to a couple of blog conferences (2013 and 2014), and I had a job working at YMC as a food blogger, so I met all the women (and a couple of men) that worked there as well. Blogging has really enriched my world and allowed me to meet - both virtually and in person - so many incredible people.
I was excited to see that photo - it's Lisa!
It is Lisa! Luckily she is very good at keeping in touch and maintaining connections because she has become a good friend over these many years! I hope that you guys have a chance to get together because she is such a good and fun person!
DeleteLike Nicole, I took the test but can't remember what I am- I'll have to take it again.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I love about blogging is the interaction with other bloggers. I enjoy writing the posts, but (unlike Engie) I don't know if I would continue if no one was reading. I love reading and answering comments, and also commenting on other blogs. I have met a couple blog friends in real life and plan to meet more as time goes by. It's fun to meet IRL and then continue to read the blog- it really makes a difference to meet in person!
I think that once you realize that commenting on others also brings people to your space, things usually shape up. It is a give and take and the interaction is key! It took me a while to join the fun though, so I was definitely writing with nobody commenting! However, I also think that there are some lurkers who just don't comment, and that is okay too, although you don't get the satisfaction of knowing someone is listening to you!
DeleteLike others, I cannot remember what my personality results were! I am pretty sure it was INFJ, but I could be wrong about the last letter. We took the test as part of a work retreat and it was interesting to learn what everyone was, but I don't know that we ever used that knowledge to improve our working relationships.
ReplyDeleteI have been blogging for a long time and I love the connection. I am a pretty solitary, introverted person and so it feels like developing friendships that are meaningful but don't require a lot of in-person energy. It is really hard to find a balance between sharing enough and sharing too much, though!
Yes! I do think it is "easier" to just throw things out into a faceless group, but I have to remember that I do have some close family and friends who read my blog so I have to think (a) do I want them to know this? and (b) do I want EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET to know this? However, sometimes it feels like a journal with feedback, which is both good and bad!
DeleteYES. A journal with feedback is exactly right.
DeleteI am an INFJ! I'm definitely a "feeler" who doesn't thrive with spontaneity, haha. I loooove talking personality frameworks, though. It's the whole theme of the podcast I started with my best friend, Bri. We nerd out over personalities. I much prefer the Enneagram to the Myers-Briggs, though, because I feel like I have learned so much more about myself and my fears and why I do the things I do by learning more about my enneagram type.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging because I loved writing and wanted a way to do so! I always thought I'd be a famous journalist or writer, but that has not come to pass (yet?). Now, I still love talking about my life and using writing to process some of my emotions. And it's gotten to be even more fun with community! I have met some bloggers in person - like Lisa! - and that's always so, so fun.
I can't remember if I have done the enneagram test or not but I always hear you guys talking about it ("talking" = blogging) and I guess I need to go and find out what type I am. I like the Meyers Briggs because I really do feel like it captures a lot of who I am to a tee, both the good and the bad! I also love the connections blogging has created and for some parts of my life, they were a lifesaver. I was working in MO out of a hotel room by myself with a bunch of men and having the online community really made me feel grounded and heard.
DeleteI relate to this so much. I love the connections that blogging has afforded me, esp. since I live so far away from my family and close friends. It's a community I don't want to miss and I am very glad you started blogging more regularly again. We have a nice little friendship group going, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI think that I stopped blogging for a while because it felt overwhelming. Not just posting but keeping up with reading and commenting. However, I did have a period where I wondered if it was worth it. I also had thoughts but had a hard time getting them down on "paper" in a coherent manner, if that makes sense. I am glad that my brain is working more smoothly now and that some of my old pals are still here and some new ones are being made! I love this community!
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ReplyDeleteI grew up in a tight-knit family in Russia, and I was homeschooled. I had one friend in my childhood.
Fast forward into my late 20s- tons of friends of various caliber. 30s: some connections lost, others gained.
40s (now) mom friends and a group of 3 friends that are very close.
Blogging... Just started and enjoying it very much. Have not made friends -yet-but would love to get involved in blogging community mainly due to the fact that I'm seeing a sense of belonging :)
Plus, a creative outlet, of course... I'm at momofchildren.wordpress.com
For sure it checks a lot of the boxes re friends, creative outlet, place to vent etc.! I am glad you are enjoying it so far and hopefully you will stick with it! I went and checked your site out and it looks like I have some catching up to do!
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