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| Fresh produce! Don't take it for granted! |
I polled four people who have lived or do live outside of their home country and asked them to tell me what things they found or find strange when they first arrived in their home away from home. Here are twenty of their answers, along with some of my comments about the subject!
First, some introductions: San is a German woman living in Sacramento, CA, Daria is a Russian woman living in New Jersey, Tobia is a German woman who lived in Idaho during her high school years, and Rachel is an American living in Wales (I think that may be a Sting song?😁). These are only some of their answers, so there may be a part two!
I want to stress that there is no right way, and nobody in this post is saying that one way is better or worse than another. These are just reflections on differences and/or things people aren't used to.
You can see other posts in the Twenty Questions series here. Also, don't forget to fill out --> THE QUESTIONNAIRE if you want your answers to feature on a future list!
1. San: That tap water is always free (yay!) and that you get free refills on soft drinks at most restaurants. (I say at most restaurants, because I have experienced the occasional exception in places like San Francisco, where they’ve adopted the European way of charging for every single glass. Beware!)
My take: I hate paying for water, and Germany (sorry San & Tobia) is a country that if you ask for tap water, they basically deny you, which really chaps my hide. There are some countries (France for example) where if you ask for water they will bring you a bottle, but if you ask for a glass of water, they WILL bring you tap water. As for soda, I don't drink it, but usually in Europe you don't get free refills on coffee either (boo)!
2. San: That (mostly) everybody calls everybody else by their first names. As you might know, there is a formal and informal way in Germany to address other people. The formal Sie is used in situations requiring respect or formality, such as when speaking to strangers or in professional settings, and you’ll also address the person by their last name (Mr/Mrs). The informal du would be used for family members and friends, and with people with whom you are on a first-name basis (e.g., colleagues). I’ve really gotten used to it and like that it’s more informal here (it has less of a hierarchical feel), but at first, it was really hard for me to call my professors (at university) or supervisors by their first names.
My take: I was raised to say Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so as a child, and in college, we did call the professors Professor so-and-so (last name). However, my friend Bugsy is a professor and I think that they are more informal now, like they just call him Dr. G. Also when I learned French I was taught to always say vous (formal) but when I worked in France, they all told me to call them tu (informal) which surprised me! Readers, feel free to chime in. What were you taught and/or what do you teach your kids? Do you still call anyone Mr. or Mrs.?
3. San: That there is a lack of good public transportation options (and/or bikeable areas). Sacramento is actually not that bad in both regards, and over time, it has improved in some places, but the reliance on your personal car is still mind-boggling to me. I remember when I first came here, I took the bus to a shopping center in the afternoon (and keep in mind, that was a time before digital bus schedules or the UBER app at you finger tips on your smartphone) and I got stranded because, for my return trip, the last bus had left the shopping center around 5 p.m. AT 5 PM! The stores were open til 8 p.m. I did not understand how there could be no later bus. (I ended up having to walk to a gas station to use their phone to call a taxi, and it was hellishly expensive to get home.)
My take: I totally agree! I have taken a train or bus to a small mountain town in Europe, which is nearly impossible in the U.S. Also in some places the public transit is FREE (Belgrade, Luxembourg, Tallin)!!
4. San: That stores are open 7 days a week. In Germany, stores - for the most part, with some exceptions - are still closed on Sundays. I’ve really gotten used to being able to run errands every day of the week, and I would probably miss it.
My take: I have gotten used to stores being closed on Sunday, but I still don't love it. Also they often are not open as many hours on regular days. However, I have found this differs depending on where you are (for example in Spain, grocery stores are closed on Sunday. In France, they are starting to sometimes have limited hours on Sunday, and in Belgrade they actually have 24/7 grocery stores in some places).
5. San: That people still write checks. When I moved here, checks were everywhere (and still are, although it’s gotten more common to pay through other means). In Germany, checks were something that I remember my parents using when I was little, but by the time I was old enough to have a bank account, financial matters were handled with bank transfers. I only ever had a checkbook - and wrote actual checks - in the US.
My take: The US has been behind Europe for a while regarding payment options. I remember when credit cards became more common (when I first moved to France, I used cash for everything) and I was asked where my chip was because they were using a chip reader rather than a swipe. Well, we got the chip finally, but it was probably a few years (?) later! However, did you know that many European countries don't have credit cards? They have a Visa or whatever, but it comes straight out of their bank account every time. Readers, feel free to chime in. Do you or does anyone you know still write checks?
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6. Daria: From heat straight to air conditioning. I was surprised that once the heat was off, the air conditioning came on pretty immediately. Back home we crack windows open in the dead of winter to air out the room. To this day my windows are open quite often. I cannot sleep in a stuffy room, my husband, however, does not have that problem.
My take: I agree with you. I prefer open windows, and when I lived in Florida and Louisiana, I hated the hot outside/freezing inside contrast. I would prefer to be a little warm than have fake air on me all the time! In Europe they are starting to get AC more, but it used to be very rare!
7. Daria: Breakfast. Back home we ate a very small breakfast, some bread, butter, maybe, some cheese and sausage if we were lucky. Eggs were like gold and eaten for dinner. In the US the breakfasts were more like desserts, and I very much enjoyed pancakes and waffles.
My take: Amen! I notice that everyone is a little different. In France it is very common to just have a croissant and coffee for breakfast. In the Netherlands, they usually eat cold lunch (sandwich, some sort of salad). In many European countries, they have bread, cheese and lunchmeat for breakfast (which was weird to me at first)!
8. Daria: Lots of positivity. By nature and culture I am a pessimistic person. That is simply how you survived since caution was imperative to be in Russia in the 90s. So it was weird to me to hear my fellow peers at the university say things like "I failed my test today. But the score will only go up from here." I thought "well, the score can go either way, up or down." Or "when I graduate and make a lot of money, I will…”Schooling was much harder in Russia, and gainful employment was not guaranteed, like, at all (unless you knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy). For me, that statement was more along the lines of "if I graduate, I hope I get a job where I make good money."
My take: I have been told over and over how "cheerful and friendly" people from the US are. Some people love it; other people think that it is very fake! By contrast, I do think a lot of cultures that were under the Soviet umbrella don't smile very much (not all of course, but some)!
9. Daria: Dusting. We dusted with clean, moist clothes, while in the US folks used something fluffy/feathery that, in my opinion, was not effective?…
My take: We used a feather duster when I was a kid, and you are right Daria, it is not that effective! Readers, feel free to chime in. What is your dusting method?
10. Daria: Back home, it was not customary to eat anywhere but these two places: home or restaurants/cafeterias. In the US I was surprised to see my peers at university eat during class as the professor lectured, eat while walking down the street, eat in their cars and public transportation.
My take: This is also true in Japan. Eating in public can actually be considered rude, and they often don't have public trash cans!
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11. Tobia: Tampons - when I had to buy tampons for the first time after arriving I was so overwhelmed. The boxes where huge and and they all said "applicator." I had no idea what that was. I had to ask my host mom which was a bit embarrassing as she was a Mormon and wasn’t using tampons. I ended up getting a box but I had issues. I think first time using it I left parts of the applicator in. Also they were so huge you couldn’t fit them in your pants pockets or hands when going to the bathroom. I ended up buying none ever again and bit the bullet and getting the very overpriced OB tampons I knew from home.
My take: My aunt used to use OB and I remember the first time I tried one. I did not do it right and it was so uncomfortable. However, after realizing that they save the environment (no plastic) and are much easier to carry for backpacking or traveling, I have been using OB for years! And luckily I can find them everywhere in Europe.
12. Tobia: School you move around - another thing that was different in school was that we moved a lot. In Germany it’s common that each class has a designated room and teachers come to your classroom. Only for special classes like music, art, PE or science you would go to the teachers room – mainly because of the equipment in the room. But everything from languages, math, history and stuff is in your class room.
My take: That would be awesome to not have to lug around your stuff from room to room. Readers, feel free to chime in. Does anyone have experience with a place where the teachers come to you?
13. Tobia: Fresh food – I was lucky enough that my host mom cooked dinner every day. But still I had the feeling I hardly ate any fresh veggies or fruits. I was a vegetarian when I came to the US and I missed greens. So much so that I was looking forward to when we were on the road with the team because I could go to subways and get some greens on my sandwich. I was not aware that I ate so much more colorful in Germany.
Bonus from Daria: Fruit and vegetables available out of season and year around! In contrast, we had to wait for the summer months to get fresh fruit and vegetables.
My take: I feel like this may be a rural Idaho thing. When I lived in Iowa, I was shocked by their idea of a "salad" which was iceberg lettuce with a tomato and dressing. Full stop. In California we grow a lot of produce, so get a lot of fresh foods in season, but of course, like Daria said, we can also get a lot of out of season things year round too! Readers, feel free to chime in. What is it like in your state/province?
14. Tobia: Milk and water. The amount of milk drinking I have seen in the US. Argh. I came from a non milk drinking family but even milk drinking families in Germany don't have milk for dinner. And lunch. And breakfast. I hated it. The only option for me was water as my host family didn't have anything else. There was no pop or iced tea or coffee for the Mormons. It was so boring.
My take: Our family was a water drinking family. I would never drink an entire glass of milk. Yuck. However, we also did not really drink soda or juice either! I am still mainly a water drinker to this day! And beer, but beer is mostly water, right? Readers, feel free to chime in. What did you drink at meals growing up?
15. Tobia: Eating with knife and fork. I was really surprised about the different way Americans eat with knife and fork. In Germany the fork is in your left hand and switching it to the right is a no go. Unless you don't need a knife. Then it is in your right. Also I realized many people hold the cutlery in sort of fist which looks a bit rough. I had never known there are different ways to eat with cutlery.
My take: Before I left for my summer in France, we were shown how French people use their cutlery so that we would not be perceived as rude. I actually prefer the "European way," but I was having lunch with people from all over and we were talking about this, and people from the UK also hold their cutlery differently. Also, did you know that in Japan you are not supposed to stick your chopsticks upright into your rice? It is considered disrespectful and a bad omen because it resembles an offering made at funerals for the deceased. Readers, feel free to chime in. How do you hold your cutlery (Knife in the right/left? Fork in the right/left? Put it down between bites? Hold it in your fist?)
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16. Rachel: Wales exists! Back in 2007 I was doing the backpacking thing and I had just returned from a trip to Belfast. My travel started in Dublin, then went to Edinburgh and London. I was so proud that I had visited all the capital cities in the UK and started to write a blog post about my trip, but when I googled “Map of the UK with capital cities” I discovered I had missed a capital city! There was a country called Wales and a capital called Cardiff and I had not been there. Keen to write my blog post, I decided to visit. It was 2 hours from London. I did not think this would be the start of me living in the UK, but I found out Wales existed and now I’m here.
My take: I have not had this exact issue, but I definitely have gone to some places that were not high on my list because they were on the way to somewhere else, and have been pleasantly surprised! For example, Lithuania or Armenia! I highly recommend both of them!
17. Rachel: Ok, controversial topic here, but Brits love their beer. I was a little shocked how normal it was to see people using all sorts of things as urinals at night. For instance: Cashpoints (ATMs). Here is a link for a photo journalist who documented a night out in Cardiff. It’s kind of wild. Also, no one wears a coat on a night out. I had a friend ask if people were cold, and I replied that beer is the jacket you wear on the inside.
My take: This is one of my favorite YouTube videos about a Scottish Sobriety Test. It's only about 30 seconds long and worth a laugh. Also I celebrated New Years Eve in Sydney with a group of Scottish people and it was....wild to say the least.
18. Rachel: Perceptions of distance. When I first moved to Wales I got a job in a town (Pontypridd) 12 miles away. I was serving beer to a customer and he asked where I was from. I said I was from the USA. “Wow!” he said “Imagine that, you moved all the way to Pontypridd from America!" “Oh no” I said, “I live in Cardiff.” (12 miles from Pontypridd) “Wow!” he exclaimed, in the same tone of awe, “and you come all the way to Pontypridd for work!” Wales is funny with geography. I have met people who have moved 4 streets over because they wanted to be closer to their family.
My take: This happens a lot in Europe too. I was in Spain and was going to rent a car and drive to a place about 100km (60 miles) away and then do a loop back and I asked my Airbnb host for suggestions of places to stop along the way and he told me that I better stay the night in the middle because that was too long of a drive for one day. Readers, feel free to chime in. What do you consider a "long way" from home?
19. Rachel: Things that I expected to be meat were not meat. When I arrived in Wales I was so hungry I went to a pub and ordered Welsh Glamorgan Sausage. When it arrived, I was surprised to see my sausage was made out of potatoes and leeks and was actually vegetarian. Another national dish is Welsh Rarebit. It is not rabbit or meat, it is cheese on toast. Very good cheese on toast. While Wales does not have a particularly inspiring cultural dish to eat, it does have absolutely amazing cheese. Wales used to host the Great British Cheese Championship, but it’s been replaced by a series of local cheese festivals instead.
My take: I have tried and enjoyed rarebit (usually on eggs and/or toast). Readers, feel free to chime in. Have you tried rarebit and if so, what did you think?
20. Rachel: Bog snorkeling. Wales is home to the Bog Snorkeling World Championships. These are held in Llanwrtyd Wells. I watched these in 2012. It was just as weird as it sounds.
My take: I had never heard of this before now. If you click the link, you will see that it is a sort of triathlon, and it's only £15 to join! I think I might put that on my 2026 event calendar!
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Your turn to weigh in! Here are the questions; feel free to answer any or all of them!
Were you raised to call people by their first or last names?
Were you raised to call people by their first or last names?
Do you still write checks or know anyone who does?
What are the "fresh vegetables" like in your state/province?
What did you drink at meals growing up?
Does anyone have experience with a place where the teachers come to you?
How do you hold your cutlery?
What is your dusting method?
What is your dusting method?
What do you consider a "long way" from home?
Have you tried rarebit and if so, what did you think?
Have you ever heard of bog snorkeling?
Bonus questions:
Which one of these made you giggle?
Which of these were you surprised by?
