People I've Met

I'm having a problem.

I can't keep up.

How I feel, or a mural in the Mission, SF

So much so that I created a new category in my Reader (aka Feedly). It's called "People I've Met".

This category contains 15 blogs. It is the one that I TRY to keep up with. If I have time, I (try to) move to the next category, which has 50 other sources which I love. Then there is another category, and another 40, another category with another 30. And there are more after that.

I am ashamed to say that I can't even get through the first category. In fact, I have guilt RIGHT NOW because instead of getting through the first category, I am writing about the fact that I don't even have time to get through the first category.

Lately, I have been working overtime at work. My running schedule has been in the 50+ miles per week. I have been traveling on the weekend in order to see family and friends and/or do races. The commute each day has been a headache due to the fact that the Bay Bridge has been closed or there is a BART strike or the new Bay Bridge has opened.

I finally got rid of my car; the guy that came to get it was late and the process took longer than expected. I finally went to that Bikram class that I bought a Groupon for and now I have 8 weeks to complete 10 classes at a place roughly an hour away from my house or I lose my money. I volunteered for a couple of races which have been in random places at strange hours. I joined a softball team in San Francisco, which means I get home around 10 o'clock once a week.

I have been reading the same book for the last three weeks. My only chance to read has been on the bus, and often I am too tired, so I just stare out the window.

I have been eating "dinner" at 9 or 10 at night. This usually means heating up a potato in the microwave, eating it, and passing out shortly after.

Where does the time go, I ask? 

Let's be clear; I am not complaining. I wish that I wasn't so swamped at work, because it does take up a lot of time, plus my brain? Is tired by the end of the day. So tired, that reading books, or reading blogs, or writing, or pretty much doing anything where brain power is needed, is impossible. Or I can do it, but it doesn't stick, or make sense, so it's not really worth it. I'm like Sloth from The Goonies; I can't articulate (but I do like candy).

All of the other things are things I love and have chosen for myself. So I have nobody else to blame but myself. And I love hanging out with family and friends, running, eating, and enjoying the beautiful days. Which is part of the problem. If it's a nice day outside, it's hard to say no; it's impossible to sit inside. I sometimes want to say no, but then the guilt takes over. I feel like if someone is available and they invite me somewhere and it's a nice day, I would be a dunce to not enjoy it. But then I'm tired. But if I say no, I wish I would have said yes.

A guy at work told me today that I like a duck.

On the surface, I am calm and serene.

Below the surface, I am paddling like the dickens.

Sometimes I just feel that I can't paddle fast enough, no matter how hard I try.

Do you always paddle fast enough? Do you always fill your time or do you make sure to set aside time to relax?