It made me feel better somehow. To just let the music be loud. To clear my mind with other people's words. I would just sit there, sometimes singing along, sometimes nodding my head to the music, sometimes doing nothing. It was my therapy.
And it still is. These days I normally take it out on some cookie batter or something -- you know, two birds and all that. I end up happy and I have a batch of chocolate chip cookies to show for it.
Yesterday was one of those days. When you feel like you have no control. When you wonder where your life is going. When you miss your friends and family. When you miss routine. And I couldn't even go to my room and blast my music. And I definitely couldn't make cookies. I couldn't be alone. I don't have a room or a kitchen or any space to myself. Maybe I should crawl into my backpack and hide.
It really got to me. How am I supposed to vent? The only person around was Mr. Lovely and not only has he probably heard enough already, but what I need is to be alone with my thoughts (and Eddie Vedder) in order to purge the bad ones.
So I did the only thing I could. My only option, since we were on an 8 hour bus ride, was to rock out with my iPod while staring out the window and PRETENDING that I was alone. It kind of worked. Not as good as the dancing around the room to loud music while baking cookies method, but it's better than nothing.
So now I feel better.
In case you are wondering, I put my iPod on random and here are a few that came out of it.
- The Sweetest Thing - Gwen Stefani (not my favorite song but VERY upbeat!)
- Let Me Sleep - Pearl Jam (flashback!)
- Natural Blues - Moby
- Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndie Lauper (don't they though!?)
- Thunderstruck - ACDC (okay I guess my iPod is playing all the older music first?)
and....last but definitely NOT least...
Misery Loves Company - Metallica
All I can say is. AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!! Does anybody want to hang out?