I am sure you have looked back at your life at some point and thought, "why didn't I do that differently?" I am not saying that you regret it, but maybe you see how young you were at the time and you want to give your 20 year old self a little advice. I polled readers about this and today I am going to give their answers along with some of my own. My question to you is...what advice would YOU give your 20 year old self if you could? And do you think your 20 year old self would take it?
12. Elisabeth said: You're not doing anything wrong. This feels hard because it is hard.
Thanks ladies! These are all solid pieces of advice! I am still trying to follow some of them even now! Here are a few that I would tell my 20 year old self.
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| Australia - Great Ocean Road (with a real camera!) |
13. Reach higher than you think you can. Despite being a know it all sometimes, I lacked confidence in myself in certain things. I applied for colleges partially for financial reasons, but I should have found what I wanted (Berkeley) and figured out what I needed to do to get there. Ironically I had really good grades and may have even gotten in, but at 17, I did not think so. And even at 20 I probably did not try hard enough to get what I actually wanted.
14. Be more appreciative. I was always a polite child, but there have been some people in my life who have gone out of their way to do things for me, and I am not sure that I properly was thankful to them at the time.
15. Call your mother! I have always had a good relationship with my Mom (she may beg to differ re my teenage years!) and I did have regular contact with her in college, but I am sure that no matter what day it was, or time it was, she would have been happy to hear from me more. I can't imagine what it is like to have a person you are used to seeing every day, who has been living in your house, who you have been responsible for for so long, suddenly be miles away, doing their own thing, not "needing" you. It is probably hard, and I did not recognize that then.
16. You are beautiful. I used to wear a t-shirt over my swimming suit at the beach. I was embarrassed of my body, of people seeing it. I did get over that slowly, but I never considered myself good looking and always felt there were things that could be improved. I have gotten used to myself, and am happy to have strong legs and a nice smile, but back in my 20s, I did not appreciate my body. I see teenage girls even now talking about how they need to go on a diet, and it makes me sad. They are beautiful too, and I wish they could see what I see.
17. Being right is not that important. I agree with Melissa. We all make mistakes; that is what makes us human. My way is not always the right way, and being wrong or doing something wrong is not the end of the world! However, some of the mistakes I have made have helped me learn, so I guess in some part, we have to go through each of the steps to get to the end.
18. The world is huge; go out and explore it! I think 20 year old me would like this piece of advice. But I don't just mean go somewhere and party and act like a loud American. I mean see it, and learn from it, and be part of it.
19. Be more patient. I am not patient. This is one I am still working on. But perhaps if I learned to be more patient when I was 20, I would be more patient now! I like to have a purpose or a goal. I walk fast; I like to get things done in a timely manner; I hate waiting for things, or people. However, in the last several years, I have learned the joy of a good book, or just staring at the sea from time to time, or sitting with a coffee just because.
20. Keep a journal. I do have a lot of things written down, and I have kept some sort of written record (or verbal sometimes) of things, but I do sometimes wish I had more information about certain times of my life. I am often very factual in my records, but I wish I could remember more about my emotions at certain times. My Mom and Grandma are and were very good at this, but I could do better!
So there you have it; now it is your turn! Which one of the above pieces of advice resonates with you the most? What would you tell your 20 year old self if you could, and do you think your 20 year old self would take the advice?
These are all solid and good advice I could apply at random moments.
ReplyDeleteI think the one speaking most to me is about accepting one self.
Yeah, I definitely think that my 20 year old self was still figuring out who I was, but also was trying to fit into some sort of a place, if you know what I mean. So often you end up molding yourself to others more, whereas just being yourself is priceless! Of course, figuring out who that is can be difficult too!
DeleteI resonate with 17 and 18 so much! I also would tell myself that life is full of surprises and the goal is less/as important than the journey.
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely true! I still have a hard time following that advice though; I get so much satisfaction from completing goals. However, I have definitely learned to enjoy the journey more! Thanks for the reminder!
DeleteThis was really enjoyable to read! And I, too, have seen the Great Ocean Road! I did a little trip to that area when I was studying abroad north of Brisbane in 2002. I'd love to go back!
ReplyDeleteI kind of want to hug my 20 year old self. She was such a shadow of who I am today and lacked a lot of confidence. I, too, wish I had tried to go to a different university. I just went to the state school where I got a great scholarship that covered most of tuition. My parents told me I could go anywhere I wanted but to keep in mind I was paying for it. And even back then, debt scared me. So I didn't even TRY to see where I could go, but no one was telling me to reach high. It will be so different for our boys as they'll have college prep at the HS (I think/assume) and they will have guidance counselors. And Phil and I will be paying for their education so they'll have more options and won't need to choose the cheapest option available (I feel conflicted about paying for their schooling as I feel like paying for college made me appreciate it more and I was extremely vested in succeeding - but Phil was equally vested and driven and his parents paid for it so I'm probably overemphasizing the importance of paying for your own schooling).
I had to pay for my own college, but I see where having parents who paid for it could have been a good thing too. I think that instilling an appreciation of where money comes from, and perhaps having the kids have a summer job and have the responsibility of paying for certain things themselves will help them not abuse the fact that Mom and Dad are covering the bills. I have met a lot of "trust fund" kids in my line of work, and it is interesting how they end up being when they are older. We had one client with four kids and they all turned out differently, with different ways of appreciating and understanding money. So I think you can just do your best in teaching them and they are going to do with it what they will. I feel like Paul will be responsible and Will will be a little bit carefree about it! We shall see though, shan't we!?
DeleteI loved reading this!
ReplyDeleteI definitely wish I could go back and relive that period of life with fresh (more mature eyes), but that isn't how life works. I guess part of surviving any stage is doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at that stage. I also appreciate how important mentorship is; having (mostly women) who were ahead of me in life speak into certain decisions and feelings I was having.
I totally agree. There are certain things we have to learn on our own and make our own mistakes about, and also, we don't always listen to good advice! Maybe that should have been one of the ones on the list! It is great to have older, wiser people in your life for sure!
DeleteThis was fabulous! Thank you for sharing everyone's advice, and for all your wise words. I think my 20-year-old self most needs to hear "worry less" and "reach higher." Hopefully in whatever alternate timeline where she is still 20, she can learn those lessons herself.
ReplyDeleteHopefully our current selves can listen to our own advice too! I think a lot of these are good advice for my 40-something self, so I guess its never too late to heed the advice!
DeleteI couldn't remember what advice I might have given, or even if I had given advice, but I still agree with what I said. I love the last piece of advice, and wish I had a journal from those years. I have one from a summer when I was 16, and it is both cringe-inducing and enlightening about where I was back then. I also have one from when I was in year 12 because we had to keep a daily journal as part of year 12 English, and that is fascinating. When I found it, there was so much in there that I didn't remember.
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